Right-wing Conspiracy Theories · Right-wing disinformation campaign

7 crazy right wing statements from just last week

7 crazy right wing statements from just last week
U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) (Credit: Reuters/Jonathan Ernst)

Yes, this happened last week…


1. Ted Cruz: We need 100 more like Jesse Helms in the Senate.

Ted Cruz gave a huge shout-out to North Carolina’s late unrepentant racist senator, Jesse Helms. Granted, it was at the Heritage Foundation’s annual Helms lecture, so he wasn’t the only person in the room who worshipped Helms. But he did give a somewhat strange reason for being so fond of the bigot, and wishing there were “100 more” like him in the U.S. Senate.

Apparently the actor John Wayne had praised Helms for being willing to say “Crazy things,” Cruz told the audience. “The willingness to say all those crazy things is a rare, rare characteristic in this town, and you know what? It’s every bit as true now as it was then.”

For those who don’t remember, here are some of the fun-filled, wacky things Helms said and did:

  • He sang the confederate anthem “Dixie” in an elevator with Carol Moseley-Braun, the African-American senator from Illinois, and told Sen. Orrin Hatch in front of her that he was trying to make her cry.
  • He opposed integration, or “mixing of the races,” and called the University of North Carolina the “University of Negroes and Communists” because it was integrated.
  • He led a one-man, 16-day filibuster opposing the designation of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day as a holiday, and threatened to lead one to save South African apartheid.
  • More comically, as chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, he seemed unable to absorb the fact that the North Korean president’s name was Kim Jong Il, not Kim Jong 2.
  • Unlike other like-minded Southern politicians Strom Thurmond and George Wallace, Helms never disavowed his racist, segregationist views even on his deathbed in 2008.

One hundred more.

2. Glenn Beck: War is a progressive idea so I am now against it.

Does the radio host and one of the far-right’s most hilarious nut-jobs have any core principles? Does he attach real meaning to actual words? Or does he just make it all up as he goes along? Rhetorical questions, yes, but he may have outdone himself this week when he injected some real seriousness into the deadly serious Syria debate. He just up and changed the meaning of the terms. Singlehandedly. He can do that, you know. He’s Glenn Beck.

So war is now a progressive idea, Beck says, because, of course, a Democratic president has proposed it. Apparently, the rest of the progressive community was not informed, since most of them, and most Americans oppose military intervention in Syria, but never mind. In other news, up is down and black is white. And good conservatives, like Beck are anti-war. It’s a sad day for Beck because he used to thoroughly enjoy how the U.S. would topple dictators and “spread democracy” by doing so, but that was before he realized that this is actually a form of the dreaded progressive thinking.

Sometimes, such mental gymnastics can lead to close encounters with shades of truth, as when the former Fox News personality explained he was against a Syrian invasion because it would be about oil, and that Obama is similar to Dick Cheney in this way.

3. Alex Jones: Globalist cyborgs are coming.

If there is anyone who can outweigh Beck on the looniness scale, that distinction would have to go to conspiracy theorist, fringe conservative radio host Alex Jones. His theory? The effort to avoid a U.S. attack on Syria with diplomacy was actually a United Nations plot for the extinction of the human race, which would be replaced by “globalists” like President Barack Obama who would become cyborgs by using “life-extension technologies.”

Hard to argue with that logic, seeing as it is neither logical, nor based in any sort of shared reality. It may be worth noting that Beck seems much more worried about a zombie invasion than one led by cyborgs.

Jones went on to explain that the proposal to bring Syria’s chemical weapons under the control of the international community was a way for the U.N. to “come into any country they want, that has any type of weapons systems—and call them WMDs, and then dismantle that country’s infrastructure.”

That’s because the U.N. is at the very head of the globalist conspiracy, he explains. The globalists are “the biggest, most organized, eugenics-based, scientific dictatorship, trans-humanists at the top that plan the extinction of almost everybody and a new species to rise up or humans merged with machines.”

“That’s their religion, and no one’s discussing that,” Jones added. “Everyone is going to be deindustrialized, everyone is going to be put back into the Stone Age and controlled. And Obama and the globalists and the robber barons, they’re going to fly around in their jetcopters and their Air Forces Ones and their red carpets, like gods above us. And they’re going to get the life-extension technologies.”

Any questions?

4. Stuart Varney and Monica Crowley: EPA is trying to suffocate children.

Fox News’ Monica Crowley and Stuart Varney were appalled, appalled I tell you, when they revealed the shocking news this week that the EPA, the evil government’s evil Environmental Protection Agency, is providing free lesson plans for “teachers looking to educate their students on climate change.”

“The EPA — the EPA,” said Varney. And they’re aiming this “propaganda” directly at innocent middle-school children. Of course, these plans have been openly available online for months, but Crowley suspects there is a hidden agenda to this oh-so-sneaky plan. “Are they going to tell these kids to not exhale? Because every time you exhale, that’s carbon dioxide.”

And, carbon dioxide causes global warming, right? So learn to hold your breath, kids.

Well, no, not exactly. The good news is that very soon, kids will know a good deal more than Fox News does about climate change, although that is not saying much. The EPA materials do explain what carbon is and how it plays an important role in sustaining life on the planet. And how the burning of fossil fuels has led to a surplus of life-supporting gases like carbon dioxide, which has made the planet hotter. And other science-type things that no one at Fox News will ever be caught dead, reading or learning, in their indefatigable drive toward making America, hands-down, the dumbest hot country on the planet.

5. Minnesota archbishop: Satan is behind gay marriage.

Satan has been a very busy guy lately. No, that wasn’t him sawing heads off Syrian rebels in the public square or visiting plagues upon the beleaguered New Jersey shore. He had nothing to do with that creep who brands women’s vaginas to show he owns them. Mostly, he’s been concerning himself with spreading love, same-sex love. Love so strong it wants to get married. Apparently, Satan has not fully read his job description.

Lately, Lucifer has been spending time in Minnesota, where the archbishop of Minneapolis and St. Paul has announced that the devil is responsible for the legalization of marriage equality.

“Sodomy, abortion, contraception, pornography, the redefinition of marriage, and the denial of objective truth are just some of the forces threatening the stability of our civilisation,” Rev. John Nienstedt said in a recent speech to the Napa Institute Conference, and posted to the conference’s website Tuesday. “The source of these machinations is none other than the Father of Lies. Satan knows all too well the value that the family contributes to the fabric of a good solid society, as well as the future of God’s work on earth.”

Despite Nienstedt’s efforts, and because of Satan’s, Minnesota has been issuing same-sex marriage licenses since August.

Mwah hah ha ha ha. Isn’t that how the devil laughs?

6. Texas GOP gov. candidate tweets that Wendy Davis is “too stupid to be governor.”

From the totally ridiculous to the merely very offensive, the top political advisor to Texas Attorney General/would-be successor to Rick Perry, Greg Abbott has attacked Democratic opponent Wendy Davis’ intelligence in a tweet. This follows on the heels of Abbott’s tweeting thanks to a supporter for a sexist attack on Davis, which referred to her as “Retard Barbie” so, clearly a very nuanced, high-minded Republican campaign is evolving in the Lone Star state.

Dave Carney is the enlightened strategist in question, and he took the opportunity not just to call Davis stupid, but also to cheer the results of Tuesday’s Colorado recall elections. His tweet linked to an article in a conservative Texas blog slamming Davis’ gun views, calling her “Abortion Barbie,” and dismissing her as “even dumber than her fake blonde hair would imply,” Think Progress reported.

7. Internet advice from a nobody who wants to ruin perfect strangers’ lives: Dads, don’t educate your daughters!

A Louisiana-based certified public accountant cares deeply about the purity of America’s young women, and he has figured out a solution to it. Keep them ignorant. In his spare time, the guy generously makes Internet videos filled with unwanted, unasked for and basically awful advice on how to raise your daughters.

First step in saving the family: Don’t send your daughters to college. Why? Because she is very likely to have sex there. “This is no small matter we’re dealing with here,” he implores fathers. “Is a degree worth the loss of your daughter’s purity, dignity, and soul?”

If they really want to learn, girls can go to the library or use the Internet, since neither of those can lead to genital contact, he allows.

But why bother getting educated, anyway? Jobs for women are not important, this wise sage continues: “My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women. In a way, it is like being a hired hand, as a result of the fall and the penalty for original sin.”



The worst political gaffes of 2011

I couldn’t let the New Year come in without sharing one prepared Best/Worst article and one original.  First, the prepared article…

The Week

Only one GOP candidate will get to face off with Obama in 2012’s general election. But plenty participated in 2011’s contest for biggest goof up

Sure, Michele Bachmann had her fair share of public blunders in 2011, but so did President Obama, Newt Gingrich, and just about every other presidential candidate. Photo: Mark Wilson/Getty Images SEE ALL 16 PHOTOS

Best Opinion:  Wash. Monthly, Hot Air, Daily Beast…

After long months of speeches, town halls, cable news segments, newspaper interviews, and a seemingly endless string of debates, the Republican presidential hopefuls (and the Democratic incumbent) have had plenty of chances to stick their feet in their mouths in 2011. Of course, they didn’t disappoint. As the year draws to a close, we remember 10 of the most memorable political gaffes of 2011:

1. Michele Bachmann: The Founding Fathers “worked tirelessly” to end slavery
In January, the Minnesota congresswoman said “we know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Then in June, Bachmann doubled down on her claim that the slave-owning authors of the Constitution worked to end slavery, citing the efforts of John Quincy Adams — who was 9 when the Declaration of Independence was signed. “I hate to be a stickler for reality,” said Steve Benen at Washington Monthly, but “to use the possible beliefs of a 9-year-old boy as evidence that the Founding Fathers ‘worked tirelessly to end slavery’ is simply absurd on its face.”

2. Newt Gingrich: The GOP budget is “radical… right-wing social engineering”
The GOP hopeful nearly killed his campaign in its rollout May weekend, telling NBC’s Meet the Press that Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R-Wis.) controversial Medicare-voucherizing plan was “radical,”adding that “I don’t think right-wing social engineering is any more desirable than left-wing social engineering.” Republicans were “outraged” by Newt’s kneecapping of the GOP plan, said Steven Hayward at PowerLine. Gingrich’s “face plant on Meet the Press” suggests there’s “something fundamentally wrong with him.”

3. President Obama: What year is it again?
Obama visited Britain’s Westminster Abbey in May and left a touching note in its VIP guest book: “It is a great privilege to commemorate our common heritage and our common sacrifice.” Then, inexplicably, he backdated his entry by three years, to “24 May 2008.” The White House “is pleading jet lag, but c’mon,” said Allahpundit at Hot Air. With hope and change all but gone, “it’s only natural for a man to revert to thoughts of his glory days when everything around him is falling apart.”

4. Bachmann: Confusing John Wayne and a serial killer
“John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa,” Bachmann said in June during her official campaign launch, in the city of her childhood. “That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.” The only problem, commentators quickly pointed out, is that the actor John Wayne was born a few hours away in Winterset. Waterloo’s John Wayne was John Wayne Gacy, a serial killer who dressed like a clown and raped and murdered 33 boys and men in the 1970s. This “hilariously inept comment” is what she gets for “tempting fate by launching her [campaign] in a place called Waterloo,” said James Fallows at The Atlantic.

5. Sarah Palin: Paul Revere warned the British
Palin hadn’t formally taken herself out of the 2012 race yet when she launched an apparently political bus tour of historic sites in June. During the trip, Palin said that during his famous midnight ride, Revolutionary War hero Paul Revere warned “the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells and, um, making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells.” It’s bad enough that Palin “bollixed up the account of Paul Revere in such an obvious and excruciating fashion,” says Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Beast. But what’s creepy is that she stuck to her guns, and her fans reacted to her “perfectly predictable gaffe by trying to edit the Wikipedia entry on Revere to align it with Palin’s ramblings.”

6. Rick Perry: Ben Bernanke is guilty of “treason”
The Texas governor was a little late to the race, but “he made a valiant effort to catch up in his first week on the trail” in August,said David A. Graham at The Daily Beast. The gaffe that “many commentators felt crossed the line from baffling or humorous into downright scary” was when Perry said it would be “treasonous” for the Federal Reserve chairman to keep up his loose monetary policy. “If this guy prints more money between now and the election, I don’t know what y’all would do to him in Iowa, but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas,” Perry said, drawing rebukes from both the Left and Right.

7. Obama: Riding in a Canadian-made U.S. jobs bus
The president took a shiny new black bus across the Midwest in August to promote his plan to bring new jobs to America. Unfortunately, as the New York Post “gleefully” pointed out, Obama’s bus was mostly built in Canada. The Post dubbed Obama “Canucklehead.” And you have to admit, said Ed Morrissey at Hot Air, “buying two buses from a Canadian company while promising to create jobs in the U.S. is the worst kind of optics imaginable.”

8. Mitt Romney: “Corporations are people”
Romney didn’t soften his image as a Wall Street corporate raider when he told a heckler at August’s Iowa state fair: “Corporations are people, my friend… Of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people.” Okay, “we think we understand what Mitt Romney meant,” said Frank James atNPR. But “he gave his Democratic opponents an early Christmas gift by uttering those words,” making “their goal of pushing the narrative that he is a tool of corporate America much easier.”

9. Perry: “The third one. I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”
The Texan was already losing altitude due to widely panned debate performances when he had an “epic” memory lapse at a November face-off in Michigan, coming up with only two of the three federal departments he would try to eliminate: “Education, the, uh, Commerce, and let’s see. I can’t. The third one. I can’t. Sorry. Oops.” Oops, indeed, said Nolan Finley in The Detroit News. Perry is “the worst debater since Dan Quayle,” and after this “stunning” extended meltdown, he’s “toast.”

10. Herman Cain: “I got all this stuff twirling around in my head”
Drawing unflattering comparisons with Perry’s “oops” moment, Cain had his own “baffling” brain freeze while speaking on camera with the editors of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. Asked an open-ended question about Obama’s Libya policy, Cain replied: “OK, Libya. [pause] President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. I just wanted to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘Yes, I agreed’ or ‘No I didn’t agree.’ I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — nope, that’s a different one. [pause] I gotta go back and see. I got all this stuff twirling around in my head.” That “supergaffe” should be a deal breaker, said Hot Air‘s Allahpundit. Or, I guess we’d be alright “as long as President Cain never gets a phone call at 3 a.m.”

Michele Bachmann

What Is Michele Bachmann’s Problem?

The woman is clearly out of touch with reality. 

In fact, her robotic like answers to ABC’s George Stephanopoulos on Good morning America must scare even her own supporters.

Think Progress

Straight out of the gate in the 2012 presidential race, self-described “scholarly” candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has tripped over basic facts.

Yesterday, she accidentally heralded a serial killer.

Today, on ABC’s Good Morning America, she defended her “pants on fire” statement that the “Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery” (they didn’t) by insisting that John Quincy Adams was a Founding Father (he wasn’t). After host George Stephanopoulos pointed out that John Quincy Adams — the son of John Adams — did fight against slavery “decades later,” Bachmann stood by her historical interpretation.

Watch it:

Michele Bachmann

Bachmann Mistakenly Says She Has The ‘Spirit’ Of A Serial Killer

This is going to be the most interesting campaign season yet, and if Michele Bachmann gets the GOP nod to be their presidential nominee, it will definately be a campaign season for the history books.

The Huffington Post

In Waterloo, Iowa on the eve of her official presidential campaign announcement, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) told Fox News that she has “the spirit” of John Wayne.

The presidential hopeful — who was born and grew up in Waterloo as a child before moving to Minnesota — said, “Well, what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.”

The Washington Times points out one slight problem with the Tea Party favorite’s remarks: The John Wayne with roots in Waterloo is John Wayne Gacy, a serial killer who was executed by lethal injection in 1994 after being convicted of 33 murders.

John Wayne — the late movie star, director and producer — was born in Winterset, Iowa, but appears to have no specific connection to Waterloo.

Bachmann’s reference to Wayne in the Hawkeye State does not appear to be an isolated incident. In the latest edition of Newsmax magazine, the conservative congresswoman says in an exclusive interview, “We’re seeing the nation move into decline. I’m not willing to do that. I’m not satisfied. I grew up with John Wayne’s America. I was proud that you grew up in John Wayne’s America: Proud to be an American, thrilled to be a patriot.”