Conservative Bloopers · Satire

‘No Pizza For You!’: Drudge Report Falls For Daily Currant’s Satirical Story About Mayor Bloomberg

Ha! Conservatives always get caught “out there” by satirical wit…


The Daily Currant has fooled several members of the media into falling for satirical stories — from Glenn Beck and terrorist-contaminated pizza to Sarah Palin and Al Jazeera. On Friday, it fooled yet another: The Drudge Report. This time with a story about New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

The Currant’s story said Bloomberg “was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn” after reaching his “personal slice limit.” It was meant to be a jab at the mayor’s effort to limit the portions of sugary drinks sold in the city.

The Drudge Report played it up thusly:

As the Atlantic Wire reported, the splash only stuck around for a few minutes, around 8 a.m. Eastern time, before someone realized the mistake and took it down. The tweet still exists.

Recently, you may recall, The Daily Currant fooled The Washington Post into thinking Sarah Palinwas headed to Al Jazeera. It also successfully fooled the media with a story about Ann Coulterrefusing to board a plane with a black pilot” and Paul Krugman filing for bankruptcy after living a bitlavishly. And then there was that time Bill O’Reilly assaulted a department store Santa.

Satire · The Borowitz Report

Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy (Humor)

Talk about satire, The Borowitz Report is among the best on the web now.  Here’s an example:

Humanity Also on Chopping Block

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Speaking on behalf of congressional Republicans, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said today that trillions could be cut from the Federal budget if Congress can agree to eliminate empathy.

“The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy,” Rep. Cantor said.  “As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people’s basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors.”

Rep. Cantor noted that “the word ‘empathy’ comes from the Greek word ‘pathos,’ meaning ‘pathetic’ – and that’s exactly what helping people is: pathetic.”

“We Americans should get out of the habit of using Greek words,” he added.  “Look where it’s gotten the Greeks – straight into bankruptcy.”

Once congressional Republicans eliminate such empathy-laden budget items as lunches for poor children, medicine for the indigent and oxygen for seniors, Rep. Cantor said, “We can move from cutting empathy to cutting humanity.”

With humanity removed from the budget, he said, “That’s where the real savings come in.”

By eliminating the food, medicine and oxygen necessary to sustain human life, “We will reduce the single biggest drain on the U.S. economy: people.”

Ending on an optimistic note, Rep. Cantor said that by eliminating people, “by the middle of this century the United States will be successfully transformed into one big unmanned Predator drone.”

Elsewhere, presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) today visited historic Monticello, which she called “the home of Jeffrey Dahmer.”