Across America, it’s the Christmas season, and the Republican Party has lost all reason.
Democrats are fighting hard for one and all, while Republicans sit on their hands, hoping America and Obama will fall.
They claim family values and while that is great, how come they aren’t helping families who are part of the unemployment rate?
A man who lost his job and home not too long ago, now has to beg for money or sleep in the snow.
“When will Republicans create jobs?” he asks, meanwhile Republicans bitterly complain about the task.
“It’s not paid for,” “They’re lazy,” they say, while families are going hungry day after day.
The Republicans had a chance to give the middle class a payroll tax holiday. Instead they slammed down the gavel and walked away.
Republicans give Wall Street absolute immunity, all while they persecute the LGBT community. “It’s evil,” Republicans say, “According to OUR Bible, it’s a sin to be gay.”
The Democrats fire back, “You and your Bibles are wrong,” God wants every human being to dance to their own song. It doesn’t matter who people call their husbands and wives, what’s important is that we stay out of their personal lives.
Then there’s immigrants, wonderful additions to this nation, not to Republicans, they think they’re an abomination.
Democrats want compassion for those who are here. Not Republicans, they want immigrants to live in fear.
Let’s keep families together liberals remark, why does the party of family values want to tear families apart?
It’s just a hard issue Republicans insist. We can’t help it if we’re a little racist.
But Christmas is coming the Democrats say, you can’t treat families this way, not on this special day.
Republicans reply, “We don’t care about their sort, we only care about getting back to our resorts.”
What about the troops then? They’re far from home, the least you could do is throw them a bone.
We don’t care, the Republicans say. All we care about is OUR Christmas Day.
But what about the American people and the children who suffer? “We don’t care about that,” say Republicans, “we want our stocking stuffers.”
But you have families too, shouldn’t you understand? “We could care, but we have our heads in the sand.”
Well then, let’s at least save the jobs of our teachers, firemen, and police with a bill. Surely we can take care of that while we are still on the Hill?
But the ungrateful Republicans, they want their way, “who cares if fire fighters, teachers, and police lose their jobs today.”
But teachers educate our children and first responders save Americans despite the risk of dying. “Who cares,” says Republicans, while they fake crying.
Frustrated but not defeated, Democrats ask about the poor that have been mistreated.
“What about them,” the Republicans demand. “We suppose you want us to help give them a hand.”
Yes, the Democrats reply. Republicans are denying them help and we want to know why.
It costs money came the Republican reaction, letting those people die is the only path to fiscal satisfaction.
Are you that heartless, Democrats reply. These people are hanging by a sliver, yet you are willing to sell them down the river?
“Absolutely!” Republicans cried. Who the hell cares if these poor people die. If they wish to survive, they must raise the money to save their own lives.
“Food, clothing, shelter, and medicine are not cheap,” the Democrats decreed. Those people could be dead by the time they can get what they need. Americans have an obligation, to take care of each other within this great nation.
The Republicans complain, “Its time for vacation.” “Not for us,” say Democrats, we have a different vocation. We want to work, not obstruct, we don’t want the country to self-destruct.
Republicans reply, but we need obstruction, how else can we cause Obama’s destruction?
He’s a socialist, a foreigner, he gives America a rash, besides, the wealthy pay us under the table in cash.
But we work for the people, the Democrats say, how in the hell can you treat them this way?
It’s easy the Republicans say, when the wealthy pay us to get their way. You should join us and get your money too, OUR America doesn’t care about the people, why should you?
That’s easy, Democrats reply. We have hearts, that’s why. We don’t give a damn about you or the rich. We care more about getting our nation out of the ditch.
“Why do you hate people?” Democrats ask of the Right. To which the Republicans reply, we don’t hate people, just those that aren’t white.
But Hispanics, Muslims and blacks are people too, why do you hate them, is it because they don’t look like you?
“Yes,” the Republicans honestly say. Whites are the superior race and we like it that way. Hispanics invade our nation at the border and that interferes with our New World Order.
Appalled, the Democrats decree, Hispanics can come here because this nation is free.
Republicans ask, “But what about Muslims?” It’s terror they spread. We won’t stop fighting till they are all dead.
Horrified, the Democrats recoil, you guys want them dead because you want their oil.
And black people, they are all knaves, we Republicans believe they should all still be slaves.
In disgust, the Democrats step back, “we don’t hate people because they are black.” All human beings deserve to be free, “why can’t you Republicans just leave them be?”
“They are all inferior human beings,” the Republicans state, we are TRUE Americans, therefore we have the right to hate.
Democrats then stand proud and declare, the Founders created this nation for free people everywhere.
America is the land of equality and they are just as equal as you and me.
The night continued on and amidst their procrastination, Republicans suddenly had an idea, let’s end public education.
Democrats said “Absolutely not.” Why would you want the brains of our children to rot?
“Because they are taught wrong,” Republicans reply, we won’t let teachers fill their heads with lies. We hate education because people who have it make us lose, so we now want all people to get their knowledge from Fox News. We love Bill O’Reilly, he is on every night, brain washing the viewers with what we believe is right.
Democrats protest, education makes us strong. What you want to do is just plain wrong. We must learn our history and science too. Manipulating people is what you want to do.
All Americans deserve to learn. “Who cares,” says Republicans, “it’s the books that we should burn.”
“Why should we burn the books?”, Democrats ask. They help the children complete their task.
“We don’t care,” Republicans state, we must teach our children only to hate.
You mean you want children to only vote for you? “That’s right,” say Republicans, “and for them to do what we tell them to.”
“But what about the truth?” the Democrats blurt, don’t you care about those you will hurt?
The Republicans reply that they don’t care, as long as they can purge liberals from America’s hair.
Democrats may fight for people in need and for people’s health, but we only care about those of great wealth.
Why not defend workers, the Democrats ask. The Republicans answer, they get paid too much to complete their task.
The wealthy want us to make them work cheap, and turn them into nothing but mindless sheep.
The rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer, and you Democrats will not be able to stop that horror.
Then the Democrats challenged the Republican minds. We thought, as Christians, you were supposed to be kind? Jesus helped the poor, he helped the sick, so why do you guys act like pricks?
If you truly follow what Jesus and his disciples teach, then it only follows that you should practice what you preach.
You Republicans should think long and hard, because it’s clear you’ve been over playing your cards.
Christmas, after all is a time for giving, not for making it hard for people to make a living.
We should have peace on Earth and make people well, because after all you’ve done it’s likely God could send you all straight to hell.
Your party has been so wrong and terrible, how could you have missed the fact that Jesus was actually a liberal?
So could it be, that Republicans began practicing the true meaning of Christianity?
Did they work with Democrats the rest of the year, passing all the bills that have been so dear?
Did they change their ways and show kindness to every race and every person both big and small, working hard to prove that they had hearts after all?
“NO!” the American people shout. It’s time to put Democrats back in and vote heartless Republicans out.
We know all about your support of the wealthy against the poor, and we’re here to vote because we aren’t going to take your sh*t anymore.
This country was once proud and great, until you Republicans came along and made us third-rate. We will no longer tolerate your dictatorial reign. It’s time to replace you with people who have compassion and brains.
Democrats will right the ship, they’ll get things done, and next year’s Christmas will be great for everyone.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!