Tag Archives: Wonkette

September 16, 2011 · 1:50 AM

Rep. Louie Gohmert tries again to foil the mean scary president

The confederacy of dunces: Louie Gohmert (left), with fellow congressional nutcases Michele Bachmann and Steve King (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters)

I believe this president is unshakable in their lame attempts to delegitimize him at every turn…

Daily Kos

Let’s see … I think I’m going to go with the Wonkette take on this one:

Imbecile Texas Republican Louie Gohmert is rolling around on the floor of his congressional office in a fit of snickering and spittle, because he figured out that no lawmaker had officially proposed Barack Obama’s American Jobs Act to Congress. This means that technically speaking, the name “American Jobs Act” did not yet exist in the files, because the  Democrats are losers. Gohmert immediately pooped himself with puerile excitement and ran off to scribble “American Jobs Act: no more corporate taxes forever” on two sheets of paper and then handed it over to the House. BAM, filed. He wins, that’s it! The name is his!

Oh, he’s such a card, that Gohmert. His legislation consists entirely of repealing the corporate income tax, because of course it does. I’m not sure if he thinks this is a tremendous blow against Obama and his scary jobs proposals, or if he just wakes up each day wondering if there is some pissy little way to gum up the works of government a bit, and will take whatever small victories toward that end he can get.

Again, I point out: this is the stuff your Congress does instead of governing. I would at this point rather have the United States placed in the care of a high school “Model U.N.” conference, because I think they would almost certainly take the job more seriously than most of the narcissistic clowns that are there now. Or maybe the House should just go on permanent fundraising vacation: it isn’t like their September return from vacation has been one stick more productive than their month-long August absence.

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April 23, 2011 · 8:41 AM

Keith Olbermann Tells Donald Trump to ‘FOK Off,’ and Denounces Wonkette

A couple of months after leaving MSNBC, Keith Olbermann started videotaping his special comments from his high rise apartment in Manhattan.  I try to make it a point to visit his site on a daily basis although the downside to the site is that it’s not updated on a daily.

For those of us who are KO fans, this satisfies our KO addiction to a degree.   Of course, I’d rather see Keith Olbermann and his huge personality on my big screen HD TVthough!

 

Mediaite

Those looking forward to Keith Olbermann’s installation of a new rear entrance for Wonkette in his Worst Persons segment might be a little disappointed in the web impresario’s denunciation of Jack Stuef’s Trig Palin story, but the segment is somewhat redeemed by Olbermann’s clever (so clever he hyped it in two separate tweets!) “special greeting” for Trump: “FOK off!”

Olbermann deserves credit for denouncing Wonkette early on Twitter, and to some degree, for devoting a third of his “Worsts” segment to denouncing the site, but this only gets a silver? And gets beat out by Trump v Seinfeld? How is Trump’s nasty letter to Jerry Seinfeld worse than attacking a three year-old child?

Olbermann starts off strong. He calls Stuef’s post “despicable,” calls his apology “half-assed,” and delivers perhaps his most scorching missive to Wonkette, comparing them to…print publications! (blood-curdling horror scream!)

But then, he shifts his criticism to the “legitimate question” of whether Palin uses Trig as a prop, and essentially slams Stuef for giving Palin one more thing to bitch about. Even if you buy this premise (I don’t), couldn’t Olbermann’s attack have launched without this extra payload? The guy crapped all over her baby, can you give it a rest for five seconds?

Olbermann finishes the segment amusingly enough, however, with a characteristically articulate takedown of Donald Trump’s feudlet with Jerry Seinfeld, and concludes by hanging a supernova-bright lantern on his sign-off joke.

“Keeping in mind that this is the FOK News Channel website,” he begins, “F-O-K, Friends Of Keith,…Don,” oh boy, here it comes! “FOK off!”

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April 12, 2011 · 3:06 PM

For Those That Find Birtherism Passe: Blogs Report On Obama’s ‘Brain Surgery Scars’

Keeping up with our “sorting out the crazies” meme…

Mediaite

A lot of the times we miss out on the latest and greatest Barack Obama conspiracy theories that aren’t being promoted by legitimate presidential candidates. This is especially true ever since I started blocking emails from my aunt who was positive that Obama held a “Pimps and Ho’s Party” at the White House (Sorry, Aunt Becky. If you’re hosting Christmas this year, you’re gonna have to call me by phone about it). Anyway, thank goodness for Wonkette picking up on this article from The Daily Mail. You’d think we’d be annoyed at the British tabloid printing unsubstantiated rumors about our president, but how else would we know about Obama’s sinister brain surgery scars! Now that’s an awesome conspiracy.

The Daily Mail piece collects some theories from bloggers who noticed an odd pattern in Obama’s hair in pictures of he and George Lopez. Not content to ask the obvious questions (when and why Obama was hanging with George Lopez in the first place?), the bloggers dug deeper and realized that the hair pattern was clearly a scar from brain surgery.

“Ben Hart, a blogger for Escape The Tyranny a website which presents itself as a Social Network & Forum For Conservatives, said: ‘Obama’s almost done with his first term, and we still know almost nothing about the background of the President of the United States.

‘Whatever happened to create that scar, it was clearly something serious. Was it a brain operation? Has it affected his thinking?

‘No one is allowed to see his birth certificate. He is just one big mystery man, which adds intrigue to what that huge scar is all about.’

He also said that surgery might explain why the President gets lost speaking without a teleprompter, and posted a video of Obama struggling through a speech, repeating his words and getting lost mid-sentence.”

My first question was why the most powerful man in the world couldn’t get his hands on a surgeon who wouldn’t leave noticeable scars. But then I realized Obama probably used some cheap surgeon…in Kenya!

I had some more questions but, unfortunately, I got distracted by The Daily Mail’s photos of Christine Hendricks in a nightie. Hopefully some legitimate, real, totally serious presidential candidate will pick up this story and talk about it on every news show ever for three weeks straight so that I can learn more.

(h/t Wonkette)

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March 25, 2011 · 8:12 AM

Newt Gingrich’s Disappearing Tweets

Gingrich In 2004: ‘You Can’t Flip-Flop And Be Commander-In-Chief’

Huffington Post

Now that Newt Gingrich understands that his past statements are going to extensively mined for evidence of flipping and flopping, it makes sense that suddenly, a whole bunch of his old tweets have been sent down the memory hole. Here’s Juli Weiner:

Long before launching his exploratory committee, he frequently chronicled his life’s joys on his Twitter feed. Our favorite of Gingrich’s tweets was a series he wrote around Easter of last year, shown above. His recollection of snacks of yore, and their relationship to tender memories, was positively Proustian in its subject matter, if not its duration.Now, it seems as if his childhood wonder has been expunged from the Internet.

These tweets and all others composed before July 22, 2010 are unable to be found. According to Twitter, Gingrich has written more than 2,300 tweets, but just a small portion of the sum total are currently available on his feed. Additionally, permalinks to many earlier tweets are broken.

As Weiner points out, the good news is that Wonkette has preserved Gingrich’s many tweets about chocolate bunnies for posterity. (Also, isn’t the Library of Congress keeping a record of Twitter, for some reason?)

 

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