Michele Bachmann

Dumb And Dumber Headed To Texas Border

King-Bachmann

I couldn’t resist posting this article.  The headline had me at “Dumb and Dumber…”  So apropos for these two.

Liberaland

U.S. Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) said on Friday that he is heading to the Texas-Mexico border this weekend to assess the current immigration crisis, and he will be joined by Michele Bachmann (R-Minn).

They will visit the areas of Brownsville, McAllen and Laredo, meeting with the Border Patrol and local officials. King has been a critic of  immigration reform and has called for toughening border security, according to KCCI.

His jaw dropping statements such as immigrants weighing “130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert,” will only add to the problem.

Stuff King shouldn’t say again while visiting our Southern Border:

“We could also electrify this wire (on the border) with the kind of current that would not kill somebody, but it would simply be a discouragement for them to be fooling around with it. We do that with livestock all the time.”

King comparing immigration laws to picking a dog: “You put out a beacon like the Statue of Liberty and who comes here? The most vigorous from every country that has donated legal immigrants to America. The cream of the crop. We’ve always had bird dogs around our place. In our family there’s a black lab and white lab, a yellow lab, and my brother has a chocolate lab. Well, you go in and you look at a litter of pups, and you watch them. You watch how they play — they run around a little bit — and what do you want? You want a good bird dog, and you want one that’s gonna be aggressive? Pick the one that’s the friskiest, the one that’s in games the most — not the one that’s over there sleeping in the corner. You want a pet to sit on the couch, pick the one that’s sleeping in the corner. That’s — so, you get the pick of the litter, you got yourself a pretty good bird dog. We got the pick of every donor civilization on the planet because it’s hard to get here; you had to be inspired to come. We got the vigor from the planet to come to America. Whichever generation it was, and then we taught our children that same thing.”

King on the United States’ official language, “One of the great things about America is we’ve been unified by a common language. That common language, of course, is English. Our language is getting subdivided by some forces of the federal government. It is time to speak with a common voice. The argument that diversity is our strength has really never been backed up by logic. It’s unity is where our strength is. Our Founding Fathers understood that. Modern-day multiculturalists are defying that.”

“When we give the welfare state, then people won’t be able to come out of it. It’s the biggest trap that people can have,” Michele Bachmann said in 2011.

Both politicians are “pro-life” Christians. It will be interesting to see how the two will reject children who are fleeing violence and still be OK with GOP Jesus.

Now read this:

Bill Maher calls out all the debunked GOP lies on Obamacare

 

I missed this earlier because I was offline…

Daily Kos

Last night, Bill Maher ripped the Republicans for their repeated lies about Obamacare that they never bothered to apologize for, or show any shame.

You know, you just wanna go, wait, when did we switch over? What happened to yesterday’s lie? It’s still out there forever, like a plastic bag in a tree. But now we’re just using the new one?Yes, because what they do is they pass a zombie lie down to dumber and dumber people, who believe it more and more.

Hank Paulson may be over the one about climate change being a hoax, but it’s still good enough for Sean Hannity. Who then gets quoted by Michele Bachmann. Who forms the intellectual core of the thinking of Victoria Jackson. And when you think the zombie lie has finally gone to die at the idea hospice of the absolutely stupidest people on Earth, there it is being retweeted by Donald Trump.

Video and full transcript below:

And finally, New Rule: Now that there’s been an uproar over all the neocons who liedabout the Iraq War with no consequences, someone must tell me why there isn’t a similar uproar over all the Republicans who lied about Obamacare with no consequences.  (audience applause)  It’s been four years since the bill passed.  Has anybody come across even one death panel?  The next liberal to tell a Republican, “you’re entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts”, should really just admit they’ve never seen Fox News.  (audience cheering and applause)

Now, look, I get it that neither party has a monopoly on lying, and in fact they all do it so often, they’ve invented their own word for it — “I misspoke”.  But how come the rule for one party — the Republican Party — is that when they get caught in a lie, they don’t have to stop telling it?

They said Obamacare would use death panels.  It doesn’t.

They said it was a government takeover, and the insurance industry is making record profits.

They said it covered illegals.  It doesn’t.

They said it was a job killer.  It hasn’t been.

They said there were elves who bake cookies in trees.  Well, almost.  (audience laughter and applause)

Now for sure, Obama also told a lie when he said everybody who likes their health care plan can keep it.  And for about 2% of the population, that did turn out to be false.  The difference is, he stopped saying it!  He stepped up and said, you’re right, my bad, because he understands there’s this thing called observable reality.  (audience applause)

But on the Republican side, observable reality needs more study.  (audience laughter) Which is why their talking points that have been disproven, remain!  Like a guest who’s been asked to leave a party, but does not.

It reminds me of a horror movie where you think you’ve killed the lie, but it won’t stay dead.  Which is why I call them zombie lies.  (thunder crackles and camera shakes)

And finally, New Rule: Now that there’s been an uproar over all the neocons who liedabout the Iraq War with no consequences, someone must tell me why there isn’t a similar uproar over all the Republicans who lied about Obamacare with no consequences.  (audience applause)  It’s been four years since the bill passed.  Has anybody come across even one death panel?  The next liberal to tell a Republican, “you’re entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts”, should really just admit they’ve never seen Fox News.  (audience cheering and applause)

Now, look, I get it that neither party has a monopoly on lying, and in fact they all do it so often, they’ve invented their own word for it — “I misspoke”.  But how come the rule for one party — the Republican Party — is that when they get caught in a lie, they don’t have to stop telling it?

They said Obamacare would use death panels.  It doesn’t.

They said it was a government takeover, and the insurance industry is making record profits.

They said it covered illegals.  It doesn’t.

They said it was a job killer.  It hasn’t been.

They said there were elves who bake cookies in trees.  Well, almost.  (audience laughter and applause)

Now for sure, Obama also told a lie when he said everybody who likes their health care plan can keep it.  And for about 2% of the population, that did turn out to be false.  The difference is, he stopped saying it!  He stepped up and said, you’re right, my bad, because he understands there’s this thing called observable reality.  (audience applause)

But on the Republican side, observable reality needs more study.  (audience laughter) Which is why their talking points that have been disproven, remain!  Like a guest who’s been asked to leave a party, but does not.

It reminds me of a horror movie where you think you’ve killed the lie, but it won’t stay dead.  Which is why I call them zombie lies.  (thunder crackles and camera shakes)

Ooh, what an effect!  (audience laughter)  Excuse me, I have a weak heart.

Yes, zombie lies.  Remember “fracking doesn’t cause earthquakes”?  Zombie lie!  So stop saying it!

Voter fraud?  We studied it, it’s not an actual problem.  Stop zombie lying about it.

Their entire economic philosophy — cut taxes for the rich, and it trickles down — is a zombie lie!  (audience cheering and applause)

And all these zombie lies are still out there, roaming the countryside, neither alive nor dead.  Like Dick Cheney.  (audience laughter and applause)

Hungry for brains.  Like Dick Cheney.  (audience laughter)

I mean, we think we’ve eradicated one, but it turns out it’s just lying dormant in a cave full of bat blood, like the ebola virus.  Or Dick Cheney.  (audience laughter)

Dick Cheney, who did not even bother in his recent return from the dead to update the lies he told about Iraq the first time.  He’s still out there saying, “Well, Saddam was building a bomb, and he was working with al-Qaeda.”

What??  It’s like when Chuck Berry sings “Sweet Little Sixteen”.  You’re 90, man!

There is no shame in their game.  One week they’re out there saying, “No one will sign up for Obamacare.”

And the next week, “Oh, OK, they signed up?  Sure, OK, but they aren’t paying the premiums.”

“Oh they are?  OK, uh, well, they’re paying, but it’s not the young people.”

“Oh, it is?  It’s the young people?  OK.  Uh, OK, but it only covers you if you’re gay.”  (audience laughter)

You know, you just wanna go, wait, when did we switch over?  What happened to yesterday’s lie?  It’s still out there forever, like a plastic bag in a tree.  But now we’re just using the new one?

Yes, because what they do is they pass a zombie lie down to dumber and dumber people, who believe it more and more.

Hank Paulson may be over the one about climate change being a hoax, but it’s still good enough for Sean Hannity.  Who then gets quoted by Michele Bachmann.  Who forms the intellectual core of the thinking of Victoria Jackson.  And when you think the zombie lie has finally gone to die at the idea hospice of the absolutely stupidest people on Earth, there it is being retweeted by Donald Trump.

Fox Host Yells At Michele Bachmann For Trying To Sue Obama: ‘You’re Being Silly’

Cavut and Bachmann

Think Progress

Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto blasted Republicans on Wednesday for preparing to file a federal lawsuit challenging the executive actions of President Barack Obama. During an interview with Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), Cavuto belittled the effort as “an enormous waste of effort” and “a political football,” suggesting that President George W. Bush used similar executive authority.

The segment devolved into a shouting match, with Cavuto laughing off Bachmann’s indignation about Obama’s use of executive powers.

“You just said it, congresswoman, we might not get anywhere,” Cavuto exclaimed in frustration. “Maybe Republicans are within their rights, maybe the president is within his rights.” As Bachmann sought to defend the suit, Cavuto accused her of “conflating issues and being silly.” “Where was your rage when Democrats were going after President Bush on the same use of executive orders, because I think you knew then that that was a waste of time then and I think you know in your heart of hearts this is a waste of time now,” he exploded. Watch it:

Cavuto’s real rage came out in response to Bachmann’s suggestion that Republicans in Congress should simply defund the executive branch. “Think about what you’re saying,” he screamed. “Defund the executive branch? Congresswoman! If Democrats had said to you, ‘we’re going to defund President Bush,’ you would have laughed at them and so you should have been.”

As of February, Obama had issued fewer executive orders than all but one of the other presidents since World War II. Republicans, meanwhile routinely embraced the power of Republican president George W. Bush to take action, even at times when he would circumvent Congress by doing so.

Obama, Killer Comedian

President Obama at a previous WH Correspondant’s Dinner | AFP/Getty

I am so looking forward to watching tonight’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner on TV just to see the POTUS’ jokes.  In my opinion it’s the highlight of the program.

The Daily Beast

This president is the most effective of them all at using humor to destroy his enemies. Expect him to do it again on Saturday.

This Saturday night, President Obama will kill! Kill with comedy, that is, at this year’s annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Simply put: Obama is the greatest president ever in terms of using comedy. I can already hear the (faux) outrage to my comment from the right, but objectively speaking, Obama has truly redefined the way presidents use comedy.

For starters, Obama has handled the WHCD far differently than past presidents. Typically, they would offer self-deprecating jokes, such as Ronald Reagan mocking his own age and Bill Clinton poking fun at himself for being “chunky.”

And George W. Bush, a man who should be inducted to the Comedy Hall of Fame for all the material he gave comedians, even stood side by side with a Bush impersonator at the 2006 WHCD where Bush mocked his struggles to speak English and for being intellectually challenged.

Obama has changed that. True, at the WHCDs in 2009 and 2010 he gave us the traditional fare of self-deprecating jokes and playfully mocking others, such as this quip: “In the next hundred days, I will learn to go off the prompter and Joe Biden will learn to stay on the prompter.”

But then in 2011 he weaponized comedy, slicing and dicing his political rivals in the same way a comedian deals with a heckler. Let’s call this WHCD Smackdown I. I can tell you from firsthand experience that there’s nothing more effective—and satisfying—than causing a room full of people to laugh at your opponents or their views.  Sure it’s comedy, but the barbs have messages embedded in them.

For example at the 2011 dinner, Obama mocked Michele Bachmann, a leader of the birther movement, with the joke: “Michele Bachmann is here, though, I understand, and she is thinking about running for president, which is weird because I hear she was born in Canada…Yes, Michele, this is how it starts.” The joke’s goal is not only entertain, but to point out Bachmann’s propensity to simply make crap up and claim it’s real.There’s nothing more effective—and satisfying—than causing a room full of people to laugh at your opponents or their views.

While Obama also skewered others that night, “Paul Ryan couldn’t be here tonight. His budget has no room for laughter,” he saved his biggest barrage for Donald Trump. This was a short time after Obama released his birth certificate and when Trump was feigning a run for president.

After mocking “The Donald’s” birther obsession, Obama moved on to Trump’s “qualifications” to be president: “We all know about your credentials and breadth of experience…in an episode ofCelebrity Apprentice…you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night.”

Since the 2012 WHCD was held in the midst of the presidential campaign, Obama’s jokes were more playful and at his own expense.

But in 2013, Obama was fresh off his re-election victory and we saw “Smackdown II.” Obama had some great zingers at the expense of Ted Cruz, Fox News, and theGOP’s efforts to reach out to minorities.

Obama gave Mitch McConnell the comedic equivalent of a body slam with this line: “Some folks still don’t think I spend enough time with Congress. ‘Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?’ they ask. Really? Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?!” Laughs and thunderous applause followed.

He even took aim at billionaire Sheldon Adelson: “Did you know that Sheldon Adelson spent $100 million of his own money last year on negative ads? You’ve got to really dislike me to spend that kind of money…You could buy an island and call it “Nobama” for that kind of money.”

Obama’s unique use of comedy, however, is not limited to the WHCDs. He has also utilized comedy programs in a way that we never saw before. Sure, presidential candidates have appeared on late-night shows, but Obama did more. He continued as a sitting president to use comedic shows as a way to reach people who might never listen to a political speech.

For example, during the 2012 campaign he dropped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to “slow-jam the news” on the issue of student loans, which was a perfect match for Fallon’s young audience.

He also went on the Tonight Show and recently appeared on Funny or Die’sBetween Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis to talk Obamacare as the sign up deadline was approaching. (I’ve appeared at many colleges in the last two months for events and I’ve often asked students how many had watched the Between Two Ferns video? About two-thirds responded, “yes.” But when I asked, “How many would’ve watched Obama give a speech about Obamacare?” only about two or three people raised their hand.)

At this Saturday’s night WHCD, expect to see “Smackdown III.”  We will see Obama strategically and comically emasculate his political rivals.  I’d also predict some jokes about Obama’s success reaching the Affordable Care Act’s sign-up goals and ridiculing Republicans in Congress for doing nothing this year other than standing up for a rancher who refused to pay grazing fees.

The presidential candidates thinking of running in 2016 might want to take notes Saturday night. You better learn how to tell more than speeches—you better know how to deliver some cutting one-liners if you ever want to play the big room.

Bill Maher Rips Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, and the Crazed Republican Moon Howlers

maher-palin-howl

PoliticusUSA

Bill Maher ripped Republicans like Sarah Palin and Ted Cruz who are more interested in howling at the moon, and making money than they are in governing.

Video:

Maher said:

Truth is there has never been a better time to quit government, and go into the lucrative business of b*tching about government. It worked for Joe Scarborough, Mike Huckabee, and most famously, of course, Sarah Palin. The one night stand of Alaska governors. When Sarah announced she was resigning as governor, she said, “It may be tempting to keep your head down and just plod along, but that’s a quitter’s way out.” Yes, only by quitting was she not quitting. You see, Sarah realized she could have a greater affect on influencing stupidity from outside of government, and pledged to work to elect people just like her, just not her.

The fact is today’s Republicans aren’t built to govern. They don’t want to go to the moon. They want to howl at it. That’s why just the fact of getting elected means you’re already damaged goods. Unless you go to Washington and act like the single biggest prick in the room every time, you’re suspect, which is why there’s really only one man current in government who the base completely trusts. I’m talking, of course, about Ted Cruz.

He’s the guy who best understands that high office is just a higher form of talk radio. Rick Perry told them that they should have a heart. Mitch McConnell holds a gun like a girl, and Marco Rubio is pretty soft on Mexicans for an Italian. John McCain is against torture, and he was tortured. Flip-flopper. Chris Christie actually touched Obama during Hurricane Sandy when he should have lured him to the Pine Barrens and hit him with a shovel, and Michele Bachmann compromised on gays by marrying her husband.

It used to be that the golden parachute for Republicans who left government was going directly into lobbying for some big bank or defense contractor, but now elected Republicans are leaving office in midterm to try to cash their golden ticket on Fox News and/or talk radio.

Congress has become the new Saturday Night Live for stardom seeking Republicans. Some of them are trying to use it as a platform to the White House (Paul Ryan, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio). Others are using it to build national fame and fortune (Ted Cruz, Michele Bachmann), but they all have one thing in common. They aren’t in Congress to pass legislation, and do the country’s business.

Sarah Palin was a trailblazer for Republicans in this respect. Palin shows them that they can abandon the responsibility to the people who elect them, be famous for nothing, and make a ton of money in the process. If the government doesn’t work, it’s because Republicans have zero interest in governing.

They have their eyes on bigger prizes. There are only so many of those Fox News and talk radio jobs out there. The media environment doesn’t reward hard work and legislation. The real money is in being extreme, outrageous, and crazy.

Republicans don’t take governing seriously, which is why they shouldn’t be taken seriously by the American people.

 

New Yorker Shows Obama Getting His Health Care Revenge On Republicans

 The Huffington Post

Republicans are not going to like the New Yorker’s latest cover.

The illustration nods to Obamacare’s recent victory, and shows President Obama feeding medicine to a little boy.

That’s just not any little boy though — it’s Mitch McConnell. Artist Barry Blitt told the magazine, “I enjoyed drawing Ted Cruz, John Boehner, and Michele Bachmann as petulant children—and I especially wanted to draw an open-mouthed Mitch McConnell being spoon-fed his meds.”

(h/t Gabriel Debenedetti)

PRESIDENT’S ANNOUNCEMENT OF HEALTH-CARE NUMBERS ANGERS OPPONENTS OF MATH (Humor)

borowitz-math-opponents.jpg

The New Yorker – Andy Borowitz

Tuesday’s announcement by President Obama that 7.1 million people have signed up for Obamacare set off a firestorm of controversy among opponents of math in the U.S. Congress.

Representative Michele Bachmann, a leading member of the anti-math caucus, told reporters, “Throughout the debate on Obamacare, there has been a tacit agreement to leave math out of it. Today, President Obama broke that agreement.”

Senator John Barrasso, an anti-math Republican from Wyoming, agreed. “It’s very disappointing to see the President use arithmetic for political purposes,” he said.

Bachmann said that she believed the American people “would see through President Obama’s desperate use of numbers.” She added, “Whenever this President gets in trouble, he hides behind data.”

The Minnesota Republican said that many others in Congress agreed with her, but she declined to count them.

Michele Bachmann Is Disappointed That American Jews ‘Sold Out’ By Supporting Obama

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AP Photo / Carolyn Kaster

Tea Party Caucus leader, Michele Bachmann is at it again…

TPM LiveWire

Michele Bachmann is deeply disappointed with the American Jewish community for supporting President Barack Obama, whose policies she believes will reduce Israel to “rubble.”

The Minnesota Republican on Monday took particular issue with President Obama’s recent deal with Iran, after he successfully lobbied Congress to temporarily hold off on additional sanctions in hopes of reaching a larger deal on nuclear weapons. Bachmann also chided the powerful American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), which boosted Obama by backing off its push for a swift vote on new sanctions.

“The Jewish community gave him their votes, their support, their financial support and as recently as last week, 48 Jewish donors who are big contributors to the president wrote a letter to the Democrat senators in the U.S. Senate to tell them to not advance sanctions against Iran,” Bachmann told Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, as quoted by Right Wing Watch.

“This is clearly against Israel’s best interest. What has been shocking has been seeing and observing Jewish organizations who it appears have made it their priority to support the political priority and the political ambitions of the President over the best interests of Israel,” she added. “So in some respects, they sold out Israel.”

Michele Bachmann vs. Bernie Sanders CNN Debate Goes Completely Off the Rails

Mediaite

It was the type of shout-fest debate that would not have been out of place in the original Crossfire. But instead of taking place on the reboot of that show, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and Sen.Bernie Sanders (I-VT) went head-to-head on CNN’s The Situation Room Monday afternoon. Once they got going, all host Wolf Blitzer had to do was get out of the way as these two ideologically-opposed lawmakers went at each other’s throats for nearly fifteen minutes straight.

The presumed topic was income inequality, which is expected to be a major focus of President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address tomorrow night. But over the course of the segment, the conversation coverage a large variety of related topics from early childhood education to Wall Street regulations and everything in between.

For much of the debate it appeared the Bachmann and Sanders were talking simultaneously, while a seemingly helpless Blitzer sat on the sidelines choosing not to moderate in the traditional sense.

When Sanders said Republicans want to cut Social Security, Bachmann shot back with, “That is absolutely a lie. It’s brought up all the time and it’s a lie. Let’s face it, Senator Sanders. you shouldn’t be lying about what our position is.” When he asked her directly if she supports “chained CPI” and raising the minimum wage, Bachmann would not answer, choosing instead to direct the points she was trying to make straight towards Blitzer. Meanwhile, Bachmann had to pause several times throughout the conversation to tell Sanders to “calm down.”

Somehow, Bachmann and Sanders emerged from the segment without causing each other any physical harm, but the emotional damage was done. “This was an excellent discussion,” Blitzer said when the whole thing was over.

Watch the full segment in all its glory below, via CNN:

Now Michele Bachmann Is Pretending To Be A Victim Of Obamacare? (VIDEO)

I’m a couple of days late with this article but everyone needs to see the personified hypocrisy of the Right and Michele Bachmann in particular…

Liberals Unite

Michele (any lie for a headline) Bachmann put herself back into the news cycle by making the ridiculous claim on Thursday’s Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, that her insurance has been cancelled and that because the Affordable Care Act website is glitchy, her husband, with a pre-existing condition, will be without insurance.

If you recall, just a couple of months ago, one of the major anti-Obamacare talking points was that Congress didn’t have to buy into the exchanges. Now, she has no one to blame but her own Republican party for the fact that she’s being booted off her employer-paid health insurance and well, she is too lazy busy to spend an extra hour or two on Healthcare.gov.

But here’s the kicker. Bachmann has no need to go on Healthcare.gov, ever. In fact, it would do her no good. Both Washington, DC, where she claims she’d sign up, and her home state of Minnesota have their own exchanges.