Colbert

10 things you need to know today: April 11, 2014

A torch is passed. 

A torch is passed. (AP Photo/CBs, Worldwide Pants Inc.)

The Week

Kathleen Sebelius resigns as Obama’s health secretary, Stephen Colbert is tapped to replace Letterman, and more

1. Sebelius resigns as health secretary
Kathleen Sebelius is resigning as health secretary after taking heat for months over the troubled ObamaCare website rollout. Sebelius, a former Democratic governor of Kansas, touted the health law as a success after a surge of sign-ups before the open-enrollment period ended March 31. On Friday, President Obama is expected to announced that he is nominating Office of Management and Budget Director Sylvia Mathews Burwell to fill the job. [The Associated Press]

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2. Stephen Colbert picked to succeed David Letterman
Comedy Central star Stephen Colbert will take over for David Letterman as the next host of The Late Show, CBS announced Thursday. The handover will take place in 2015, although Letterman has yet to decide the date of his last show. “Simply being a guest on David Letterman’s show has been a highlight of my career,” Colbert, the 49-year-old host of The Colbert Report, said. “I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps.” [CBS Los Angeles]

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3. Scott Brown enters New Hampshire Senate race
Former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown announced Thursday that he was making another run for the Senate — this time in New Hampshire. Brown, a Republican, pulled off an upset to win the late liberal standard-bearer Ted Kennedy’s seat in 2010, only to be defeated by Elizabeth Warren two years later. Now he is trying to unseat Sen. Jeanne Shaheen, calling her a “rubber stamp” for President Obama. [The Boston Globe]

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4. U.N. approves peacekeepers for the Central African Republic
The United Nations Security Council on Thursday authorized sending nearly 12,000 peacekeepers to the Central African Republic. Christians and Muslims have been fighting there for months. The U.N. troops are scheduled to take over for about 6,000 African Union soldiers in September. They’ll be aided by a 2,000-member French force already there. U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon said the African Union force had become “overwhelmed.” [Los Angeles Times]

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5. Man surrenders after fatal Florida day-care center crash
A Florida man with alleged gang ties, Robert Corchado, turned himself in at the Orange County, Fla., jail Thursday to face charges that he fled the scene of a fatal accident after hitting a car with his SUV, and sending the other vehicle crashing into a day-care center. A 4-year-old girl, Lily Quintus, was killed in the KinderCare center. “She was incredible and she deserved so much more,” her mother, Nicole Quintus, said. [CNN]

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6. Ten die when a FedEx truck and a bus collide in California
Ten people were killed Thursday when a FedEx truck crossed a Northern California freeway andslammed into a charter bus, bursting into flames. The bus was carrying a group of high school seniors on their way to visit Humboldt State University. The drivers of the truck and bus reportedly were killed, as were five students and three chaperones. [USA Today]

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7. Scientists implant lab-grown vaginas in four patients
Medical researchers have successfully implanted lab-grown vaginas in four teenage girls born with underdeveloped vaginas due to a rare condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser Syndrome. The process, described in an article published this week in The Lancet, involved taking a vaginal tissue sample from each patient, and using it to grow cells that were layered onto biodegradable scaffolding, then implanted. [The Washington PostThe Lancet]

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8. Hillary Clinton dodges a shoe thrown during her speech
A woman was taken into custody Thursday after allegedly throwing a shoe at former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who was giving a speech to a metal-recycling conference at a Las Vegas hotel. Clinton crouched and dodged the projectile, then cracked a joke and continued her speech. “Is that somebody throwing something at me?” Clinton asked. “Is that part of Cirque du Soleil?” [Reuters]

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9. California town declares Sriracha factory a public nuisance
The city council in Irwindale, Calif., has declared The Huy Fong Foods Sriracha factory, which pumps out 100 million pounds of the fiery sauce annually, to be a public nuisance because it emits noxious odors. The city had already won a lawsuit in November forcing the plant to partially shut down. Once the council gives final approval to the declaration at its next meeting, the company will have three months to figure out how to reduce the smell. [The Associated Press]

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10. Nirvana and Kiss inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Nirvana was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Thursday in its first year of eligibility. Surviving Nirvana musicians Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, and Pat Smear performed some of the iconic grunge band’s hits, with singers such as Joan Jett, Lorde, and Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon standing in for late frontman Kurt Cobain. Kiss, Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens), Linda Rondstadt, Peter Gabriel, and Hall and Oates were also inducted. [Rolling Stone]

Breaking: Stephen Colbert named next host of ‘Late Show’

Good news…

NBC News

CBS announced on Thursday that “Colbert Report” host Stephen Colbert will be the next to helm the “Late Show” desk. He’ll succeed David Letterman when Letterman retires next year after more than 20 years as the host.

The announcement raises several questions, chief among them whether the comedian will host the show in character, as he does on Comedy Central’s “Report.” Another question mark is where the show will be taped. “The Late Show” currently films at the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York, but CBS has not yet announced where the Colbert-helmed version will tape, or who the producers will be.

“Stephen Colbert is one of the most inventive and respected forces on television,” Leslie Moonves,  president and CEO of CBS, said in a statement. “David Letterman’s legacy and accomplishments are an incredible source of pride for all of us here, and today’s announcement speaks to our commitment of upholding what he established for CBS in late night.”

“Simply being a guest on David Letterman’s show has been a highlight of my career,” Colbert said in a statement. “I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave’s lead.”

“I’m thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.”

This story will be updated.

Stephen Colbert’s ‘not-so-funny’ presidential announcement – The Week

The Week

The video: Stephen Colbert isn’t on the ballot in South Carolina. But a PPP surveythis week put his support in the Palmetto State’s Jan. 21 presidential primary at 5 percent — better than actual candidate Jon Huntsman. So on Thursday night’s show, Colbert asked his lawyer, Trevor Potter, if he could run for president and continue leading his successful super PAC, Citizens for Better Tomorrow Tomorrow. No, Potter said: Campaign law prohibits candidates from coordinating with super PACs. That inspired Colbert to hand over his super PAC to close friend and business partner Jon Stewart. Perfectly legal, Potter pronounced. Assured of a sympathetic super PAC, Colbert then announced that he was “forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for [his] possible candidacy for the president of the United States of South Carolina.” Cue celebratory balloon drop!

The reaction: This could “be more fun, and pointed, than just another vanity run,” says James Poniewozik at TIME. Colbert is effectively and informatively satirizing the absurdity of campaign rules that allow super PACs to accept unlimited contributions, which they use to prop up candidates. But that’s actually “not so funny,” says Peter Grier at The Christian Science Monitorgiven that Mitt Romney and Co. are as cozy with their super PACS as Colbert is with Stewart.