Right-wing Conspiracy Theories

Garrow: ‘Marxist Muslim Amateur’ Obama Blew Up Missing Plane

Honestly, those right-wing weirdos and crackpots need to get a life…

Liberaland

If a screenwriter wanted to produce a parody of right-wing reaction to missing Flight 370, they couldn’t to better than what right-wing conspiracy theorist Jim Garrow put on his Facebook page.

It is on one course, turns and goes in almost the opposite direction on a heading which would take it to the US base at Diego Garcia. The plane has 20 technology nerds aboard who happen to work for China designing “classified” leading edge computer/internet control software and are carrying the matching hardware with them on the plane. They are heading to Beijing with all the others. We are shown pictures of muslim looking men as if they are on the plane….setting up the expectation that the plane has been hijacked. Convenient story line so far…

The jet lands by wire at Diego Garcia, the appropriate hardware and software is offloaded as are the nerds. Interrogation proceeds and all the “secrets” you would want to gain from this “intervention” are gleaned from the assets.

You now load everyone back on board the plane and have it take off headed back to where it was supposed to go and at 35,000 ft altitude it implodes/explodes and the debris field is now found. How they missed it in the beginning is a mystery. But the western mindset is already prepared to believe that all things eastern and “Malaysian/Indonesian/Muslim” are barely able to tie shoelaces let alone search an ocean…

America/Obama gets the information that they want, who cares if a bunch of innocent people have to die (Obama -”I am pretty good at killing people.”) and more lies per minute have to fly to cover this huge piece of cow manure over.

Welcome to the world of the marxist muslim amateur Obama and his new found friends, the Chinese.

7 crazy right wing statements from just last week

7 crazy right wing statements from just last week

U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) (Credit: Reuters/Jonathan Ernst)

Yes, this happened last week…

Salon

1. Ted Cruz: We need 100 more like Jesse Helms in the Senate.

Ted Cruz gave a huge shout-out to North Carolina’s late unrepentant racist senator, Jesse Helms. Granted, it was at the Heritage Foundation’s annual Helms lecture, so he wasn’t the only person in the room who worshipped Helms. But he did give a somewhat strange reason for being so fond of the bigot, and wishing there were “100 more” like him in the U.S. Senate.

Apparently the actor John Wayne had praised Helms for being willing to say “Crazy things,” Cruz told the audience. “The willingness to say all those crazy things is a rare, rare characteristic in this town, and you know what? It’s every bit as true now as it was then.”

For those who don’t remember, here are some of the fun-filled, wacky things Helms said and did:

  • He sang the confederate anthem “Dixie” in an elevator with Carol Moseley-Braun, the African-American senator from Illinois, and told Sen. Orrin Hatch in front of her that he was trying to make her cry.
  • He opposed integration, or “mixing of the races,” and called the University of North Carolina the “University of Negroes and Communists” because it was integrated.
  • He led a one-man, 16-day filibuster opposing the designation of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day as a holiday, and threatened to lead one to save South African apartheid.
  • More comically, as chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, he seemed unable to absorb the fact that the North Korean president’s name was Kim Jong Il, not Kim Jong 2.
  • Unlike other like-minded Southern politicians Strom Thurmond and George Wallace, Helms never disavowed his racist, segregationist views even on his deathbed in 2008.

One hundred more.

2. Glenn Beck: War is a progressive idea so I am now against it.

Does the radio host and one of the far-right’s most hilarious nut-jobs have any core principles? Does he attach real meaning to actual words? Or does he just make it all up as he goes along? Rhetorical questions, yes, but he may have outdone himself this week when he injected some real seriousness into the deadly serious Syria debate. He just up and changed the meaning of the terms. Singlehandedly. He can do that, you know. He’s Glenn Beck.

So war is now a progressive idea, Beck says, because, of course, a Democratic president has proposed it. Apparently, the rest of the progressive community was not informed, since most of them, and most Americans oppose military intervention in Syria, but never mind. In other news, up is down and black is white. And good conservatives, like Beck are anti-war. It’s a sad day for Beck because he used to thoroughly enjoy how the U.S. would topple dictators and “spread democracy” by doing so, but that was before he realized that this is actually a form of the dreaded progressive thinking.

Sometimes, such mental gymnastics can lead to close encounters with shades of truth, as when the former Fox News personality explained he was against a Syrian invasion because it would be about oil, and that Obama is similar to Dick Cheney in this way.

3. Alex Jones: Globalist cyborgs are coming.

If there is anyone who can outweigh Beck on the looniness scale, that distinction would have to go to conspiracy theorist, fringe conservative radio host Alex Jones. His theory? The effort to avoid a U.S. attack on Syria with diplomacy was actually a United Nations plot for the extinction of the human race, which would be replaced by “globalists” like President Barack Obama who would become cyborgs by using “life-extension technologies.”

Hard to argue with that logic, seeing as it is neither logical, nor based in any sort of shared reality. It may be worth noting that Beck seems much more worried about a zombie invasion than one led by cyborgs.

Jones went on to explain that the proposal to bring Syria’s chemical weapons under the control of the international community was a way for the U.N. to “come into any country they want, that has any type of weapons systems—and call them WMDs, and then dismantle that country’s infrastructure.”

That’s because the U.N. is at the very head of the globalist conspiracy, he explains. The globalists are “the biggest, most organized, eugenics-based, scientific dictatorship, trans-humanists at the top that plan the extinction of almost everybody and a new species to rise up or humans merged with machines.”

“That’s their religion, and no one’s discussing that,” Jones added. “Everyone is going to be deindustrialized, everyone is going to be put back into the Stone Age and controlled. And Obama and the globalists and the robber barons, they’re going to fly around in their jetcopters and their Air Forces Ones and their red carpets, like gods above us. And they’re going to get the life-extension technologies.”

Any questions?

4. Stuart Varney and Monica Crowley: EPA is trying to suffocate children.

Fox News’ Monica Crowley and Stuart Varney were appalled, appalled I tell you, when they revealed the shocking news this week that the EPA, the evil government’s evil Environmental Protection Agency, is providing free lesson plans for “teachers looking to educate their students on climate change.”

“The EPA — the EPA,” said Varney. And they’re aiming this “propaganda” directly at innocent middle-school children. Of course, these plans have been openly available online for months, but Crowley suspects there is a hidden agenda to this oh-so-sneaky plan. “Are they going to tell these kids to not exhale? Because every time you exhale, that’s carbon dioxide.”

And, carbon dioxide causes global warming, right? So learn to hold your breath, kids.

Well, no, not exactly. The good news is that very soon, kids will know a good deal more than Fox News does about climate change, although that is not saying much. The EPA materials do explain what carbon is and how it plays an important role in sustaining life on the planet. And how the burning of fossil fuels has led to a surplus of life-supporting gases like carbon dioxide, which has made the planet hotter. And other science-type things that no one at Fox News will ever be caught dead, reading or learning, in their indefatigable drive toward making America, hands-down, the dumbest hot country on the planet.

5. Minnesota archbishop: Satan is behind gay marriage.

Satan has been a very busy guy lately. No, that wasn’t him sawing heads off Syrian rebels in the public square or visiting plagues upon the beleaguered New Jersey shore. He had nothing to do with that creep who brands women’s vaginas to show he owns them. Mostly, he’s been concerning himself with spreading love, same-sex love. Love so strong it wants to get married. Apparently, Satan has not fully read his job description.

Lately, Lucifer has been spending time in Minnesota, where the archbishop of Minneapolis and St. Paul has announced that the devil is responsible for the legalization of marriage equality.

“Sodomy, abortion, contraception, pornography, the redefinition of marriage, and the denial of objective truth are just some of the forces threatening the stability of our civilisation,” Rev. John Nienstedt said in a recent speech to the Napa Institute Conference, and posted to the conference’s website Tuesday. “The source of these machinations is none other than the Father of Lies. Satan knows all too well the value that the family contributes to the fabric of a good solid society, as well as the future of God’s work on earth.”

Despite Nienstedt’s efforts, and because of Satan’s, Minnesota has been issuing same-sex marriage licenses since August.

Mwah hah ha ha ha. Isn’t that how the devil laughs?

6. Texas GOP gov. candidate tweets that Wendy Davis is “too stupid to be governor.”

From the totally ridiculous to the merely very offensive, the top political advisor to Texas Attorney General/would-be successor to Rick Perry, Greg Abbott has attacked Democratic opponent Wendy Davis’ intelligence in a tweet. This follows on the heels of Abbott’s tweeting thanks to a supporter for a sexist attack on Davis, which referred to her as “Retard Barbie” so, clearly a very nuanced, high-minded Republican campaign is evolving in the Lone Star state.

Dave Carney is the enlightened strategist in question, and he took the opportunity not just to call Davis stupid, but also to cheer the results of Tuesday’s Colorado recall elections. His tweet linked to an article in a conservative Texas blog slamming Davis’ gun views, calling her “Abortion Barbie,” and dismissing her as “even dumber than her fake blonde hair would imply,” Think Progress reported.

7. Internet advice from a nobody who wants to ruin perfect strangers’ lives: Dads, don’t educate your daughters!

A Louisiana-based certified public accountant cares deeply about the purity of America’s young women, and he has figured out a solution to it. Keep them ignorant. In his spare time, the guy generously makes Internet videos filled with unwanted, unasked for and basically awful advice on how to raise your daughters.

First step in saving the family: Don’t send your daughters to college. Why? Because she is very likely to have sex there. “This is no small matter we’re dealing with here,” he implores fathers. “Is a degree worth the loss of your daughter’s purity, dignity, and soul?”

If they really want to learn, girls can go to the library or use the Internet, since neither of those can lead to genital contact, he allows.

But why bother getting educated, anyway? Jobs for women are not important, this wise sage continues: “My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women. In a way, it is like being a hired hand, as a result of the fall and the penalty for original sin.”

 

Rachel Maddow – Unpopular Congress musters one gun bill (for conspiracy paranoids)

When I saw this segment of The Rachel Maddow Show last night I was outraged at the methods the GOP use to spread their lies via propaganda.

Right-wing radio host: I want to shoot Clinton right in the vagina

Hillary Clinton announces support for marriage equality

Let’s set aside the insanity of that statement for a second and think about this:  If a Progressive had said the same thing about Sarah Palin, would there be a hell-fire storm of controversy or what?  They’d loose their freakin’ minds…

The Raw Story

Fringe right-wing radio host Pete Santilli made disturbing comments about Hillary Clinton last week, calling for sexual violence against the former secretary of state because of her alleged involvement in a bizarre conspiracy theory.

“Miss Hillary Clinton needs to be convicted, she needs to be tried, convicted and shot in the vagina,” he said. “I wanna pull the trigger. That ‘C U Next Tuesday’ has killed human beings that are in our ranks of our service.”

Santilli alleged Clinton was involved in drug trafficking in Arkansas and the killing of U.S. troops overseas.

“I want to shoot her right in the vagina and I don’t want her to die right away,” he added. “I want her to feel the pain and I want to look her in the eyes and I want to say, on behalf of all Americans that you’ve killed, on behalf of the Navy SEALS, the families of Navy SEAL Team Six who were involved in the fake hunt down of this Obama, Obama bin Laden thing.

“That whole fake scenario, because these Navy SEALS know the truth, they killed them all. On behalf of all of those people, I’m supporting our troops by saying we need to try, convict, and shoot Hillary Clinton in the vagina.”

The remarks were first reported by Right Wing Watch, which said it began monitoring Santilli after National Rifle Association board member Ted Nugent and Gun Owners of America director Larry Pratt appeared on his online radio program.

On his website, Santilli specifically claims that he is not a conspiracy theorist and that he is not crazy.

“As Alex Jones puts it, there is a war for your mind and its a well known fact that you are not winning. Everything you supposedly perceive as reality has been fabricated by the Wizard of Oz; the little old man behind the curtain,” he explained on his about page.

Right-Wing Claims Obama’s New Campaign Slogan Reveals His Secret Communist And/Or Fascist Allegiances

This entire “secret plan” conspiracy that some truly brain-dead right-wingers believe about the president is illogical and senseless.

Check out the video on which the right-wing fear mongers base their conspiracy theories.

Think Progress

One word; seven letters; so much nefarious hidden meaning. The Obama campaign’s new slogan, “Forward,” may seem like a typically oblique and anodyne piece of political branding — but thankfully, right-wing bloggers are here to reveal its true meaning, and predictably, it involves socialism and Hitler.

The president’s reelection campaign unveiled the slogan yesterday in lengthy new web video, and while the obvious subtext is that presumed GOP nominee Mitt Romney would take things backwards, there is so much more.

Breitbart.com’s Joel Pollak explained that the ‘Forward’ “borrows…from decades of communist iconography.” Pollak checks off a litany of scary historixcal world leaders whose lineage Obama is supposedly following, from Marx, Stalin, and Mao, to Benito Mussolini, to Thabo Mbeki, the former president of South Africa. “Communist leaders frequently used — and still use — the word ‘forward,’” he notes.

The Washington Times also sees a “rich association with European Marxism,” quoting at length from Wikipedia to prove the point.

Meanwhile, ever-hyperbolic blogger Jim Hoft went straight for Hitler, writing that ‘Forward’ was a “marching song of the Hitler youth.” He added a helpful illustration of Hitler Youth wearing Obama pins.

Even the generally more staid Bill Kristol of the Weekly Standard sees only one conceivable precedent for ‘Forward’: Mao. Along with a picture of Obama appearing to bow to Chinese President Hu Jin Tao, Kristol wonders, “So if ‘Forward’ is the slogan for the Obama campaign, would ‘Cultural Revolution’ be the slogan for the second term?”

Never mind that the fascist Hitler fought a war against communist Stalin, and killed leftists domestically — Obama is apparently uniquely able to bridge this ideological divide with a single word.

Of course, any reasonable observer knows Obama is not a communist or a facist, and that it’s ludicrous to ascribe so much meaning to a single, extremely common word. (It’s the 642th most common English word out of 868,000, according to WordCount.org, which put it in the top 1/10th of a percentile of commonality.)

It’s also the state motto of Wisconsin, so unless Kristol et. al. are willing to concede that Republican Gov. Scott Walker and the state’s 6 million residents are abiding the communist/fascist threat, the attack on Obama falls a bit flat.

Some on the left tried to make a similarly anachronistic claim about then-presidential candidate John McCain’s slogan in 2008, “Country First,” noting that it was similar to slogans used by American fascists in the 1930s, especially aviator Charles Lindbergh’s America First Committee. But that claim was as hollow and reaching as the charges against Obama’s current slogan are.

Jon Stewart’s Epic Takedown Of Fox News For Pushing Rapper Common’s W.H. ‘Controversy’

Jon Stewart is on top of his game with this one!

Mediaite

On tonight’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart took an artistic approach to dealing with Fox News’ substantial coverage of the controversy (or “controversy,” depending where you’re sitting) surrounding the White House’s inclusion of rapper and actor Common in a poetry event.

Stewart kicked things off by noting that Common is the cuddly, mainstream sort of rapper you might find in a Gap ad or hanging out with Elmo. Even FoxNews.com loves the guy! Stewart went after Fox News hosts like Sean Hannity for going after one particular verse within Common’s body of work which references a couple of cop killings and burning a “Bush.”

Stewart pointed to the hypocrisy of Fox News pundits going after Common, but not artists like Johnny Cash, who was honored by President George W. Bush and who also has penned a violent lyric or two in his day, and Ted Nugent, who has made violent remarks about Obama and Hillary Clinton, yet is considered a “friend” by Hannity. (Our own Tommy Christopher wrote about the whole “Nugent Thing” earlier today, as a matter of fact.)

And then… there’s Stewart’s rap. Nothing we could write here could adequately describe its scope and rhyminess, so watch it for yourself, via Comedy Central:

Right-Wing Media Embrace Latest Anti-Obama Conspiracy Theory: Bin Laden Might Not Be Dead

Personally I don’t give a rat’s behind what the right-wing media thinks.  This notion that President Obama needs to prove himself at every turn is getting tiresome and frankly rather nutty.

First it’s “prove to us you are an American.”  “Prove to us that you attended Columbia and Harvard.” “Prove to us you are a Christian.” “Prove to us you are not a Muslim.”  “Prove to us you killed Osama bin Laden“.

For them, I say…

Just apply the lyrics to the “deathers” as well as “birthers”.

Media Matters

Only On Fox Business: Questions About Whether Bin Laden Is Dead

Fox’s Napolitano Wonders If Gov’t. Is “Telling The Truth” About Bin Laden Or “Pulling A Fast One To Save Obama’s Lousy Presidency”

Fox Business’ Napolitano Asks Guest: “Do You Believe” Bin Laden Is “Dead, Or Do You Want Some More Evidence?”

“Not Bad for a Kenyan Muslim Communist!”

You know, the more I look at the right-wing talking points about President Obama’s role in killing Osama bin Laden, the more I realize that nothing Barack Obama does will make them acknowledge that he is in fact a good president.   They would rather give former President George W. Bush full credit than to even utter President Obama’s name.

On Thursday, the president will go to Ground Zero in New York City to meet with family members of the 9/11 victims.  Obama invited President Bush, but he declined.   I would imagine his refusing to go with Obama is not good publicity for the GOP contenders and clearly a political deceision.

Mother Jones

After nearly two years of relentlessly bashing President Obama, the tea party movement has been strangely quiet in the wake of the killing of Osama bin Laden. It seems that Obama’s powerful show of military force has done what none of his other policy moves have been able to do, which is shut them up, however briefly. And not only are they not taking to the airwaves to bash him, some are even grudgingly admitting respect for his administration’s success.

Robin Stublen, a tea party organizer in Florida who’s no fan of Obama’s, says, “I think it’s wonderful. He did exactly what a president’s supposed to do.”

Stublen says that many of his fellow activists feel the same way, and that most of the chatter he’s hearing from grassroots conservatives is pretty positive. “We realize a bad guy’s been killed,” he says. The nearly overnight change in the tea party’s focus was apparent Sunday night at the White House, where spontaneous celebrations broke out after the news of Bin Laden’s death spread. Among the many Obama campaign signs were enough Gadsden flags to give the celebration the look of a tea party rally.

Kellen Giuda is the founder of the NYC Tea Party and is already working to help defeat Obama in 2012 through a new PAC. Yet he was among the tea partiers at the White House, cheering the death of Bin Laden. He later posted online photos and video of the scene, which included the “Don’t Tread on Me” flags so ubiquitous at tea party rallies. He wrote:

Last night I, my girlfriend and a friend went down to the White House to celebrate the death of Osama Bin Laden. Being a Tea Party organizer I was happy to see some Gadsden flags and didn’t care at all when I saw some Obama campaign posters. 98% of the celebration was non-partisan and it was wonderful.

It was crazy with people climbing light poles, songs (someone brought a drum set), singing our national anthem, people climbing in all the trees right outside the White House, chants of USA, USA, USA, and just a great celebration with Americans for justice and freedom.

Even the cantankerous Judson Phillips, head of Tea Party Nation, was briefly forced to acknowledge that the Obama administration had sent Bin Laden “to Hell.” Even so, like other tea partiers, he was reluctant to give Obama much credit for the kill, writing:

Obama is taking credit for this. He did give the order. Did he really have a choice? If word leaked out that he had solid intelligence on where Bin Laden was and did not act, it would have killed any chance he had at reelection.

For much of Monday morning, there was serious radio silence from one of the most outspoken tea party groups even as the Internet was ablaze with the news about Bin Laden. The website for Tea Party Patriots, one of the largest tea party umbrella groups in the country, was still focused on the debt ceiling and $4 gasoline. Eventually, national coordinator Mark Meckler commented on the big news, telling National Journal that Obama didn’t deserve any recognition for the military operation in Pakistan. “Taking such credit would be an insult to the courageous men and women in our armed forces who voluntarily put themselves in harm’s way,” he said. “Any credit given is due to them.”

But more the more common sentiment was expressed by a commenter on the Tea Party Patriots website who wrote, “Obamma [sic] killed Osama bin Laden – pretty good for a Kenyan Muslim Communist!!!”

Still, as the euphoria over the initial news wears off, the tea partiers will no doubt find more reasons to be critical of the administration. Within hours of the late-night news, some of them were already starting the cries of “show me the body,” after learning that bin Laden’s body had been buried at sea—a sentiment fueled by Andrew Breitbart.

Stublen thinks this bit of conspiracy theorism about Bin Laden is on the margins of the movement. “You’ll have to really look to find some loons to find someone” who really disagrees with what Obama did or doesn’t believe it really happened, he says. Stublen recognizes, though, that “pitching his ass out there in the ocean” is going to create some lingering suspicions about whether Bin Laden is really dead that it could be a problem going forward. “I hope they got a lot of pictures. That’s the only way we’re going to convince people,” Stublen says. “They’re going to have to release the pictures.”

Quran-Burning Pastor’s Gun Accidentally Goes Off In Michigan

More crazy from the crazies…

TPM Muckraker

Just when you thought the sad saga of Quran-burning Florida pastor Terry Jones couldn’t get more absurd…

According to Southfield, Michigan police, Jones’ .40-caliber handgun fired accidentally as he was leaving a television studio there on Thursday night. This is presumably the same handgun he said he intended to bring to his planned anti-sharia law protest in Dearborn, Michigan on Friday, though he’s said he’s come to Dearborn “totally in peace.”

Police told The Detroit Free Press that Jones was getting into the passenger side of his car at 11:10 p.m. Thursday night, after an interview at the TV station, when the gun went off, putting a bullet into the floorboard.

“Officers heard a gunshot, approached the vehicle, asked Mr. Jones if he was OK,” Southfield Police Lt. Nick Loussia said. “He was, and they also observed he had a gun in his hand.”

Loussia said both Jones and his driver were carrying valid Florida concealed weapon licenses, and officers determined a crime had not been committed.

Jones is in Michigan to protest in front of, or near, Dearborn’s Islamic Center of America, and the community has been wrestling with free speech and public safety issues in anticipation of Jones’ actions.

“So, you are coming to protest against an imaginary threat that doesn’t exist in our community,” Jack O’Reilly Jr., the mayor of Dearborn, wrote to Jones in an open letter.

For Those That Find Birtherism Passe: Blogs Report On Obama’s ‘Brain Surgery Scars’

Keeping up with our “sorting out the crazies” meme…

Mediaite

A lot of the times we miss out on the latest and greatest Barack Obama conspiracy theories that aren’t being promoted by legitimate presidential candidates. This is especially true ever since I started blocking emails from my aunt who was positive that Obama held a “Pimps and Ho’s Party” at the White House (Sorry, Aunt Becky. If you’re hosting Christmas this year, you’re gonna have to call me by phone about it). Anyway, thank goodness for Wonkette picking up on this article from The Daily Mail. You’d think we’d be annoyed at the British tabloid printing unsubstantiated rumors about our president, but how else would we know about Obama’s sinister brain surgery scars! Now that’s an awesome conspiracy.

The Daily Mail piece collects some theories from bloggers who noticed an odd pattern in Obama’s hair in pictures of he and George Lopez. Not content to ask the obvious questions (when and why Obama was hanging with George Lopez in the first place?), the bloggers dug deeper and realized that the hair pattern was clearly a scar from brain surgery.

“Ben Hart, a blogger for Escape The Tyranny a website which presents itself as a Social Network & Forum For Conservatives, said: ‘Obama’s almost done with his first term, and we still know almost nothing about the background of the President of the United States.

‘Whatever happened to create that scar, it was clearly something serious. Was it a brain operation? Has it affected his thinking?

‘No one is allowed to see his birth certificate. He is just one big mystery man, which adds intrigue to what that huge scar is all about.’

He also said that surgery might explain why the President gets lost speaking without a teleprompter, and posted a video of Obama struggling through a speech, repeating his words and getting lost mid-sentence.”

My first question was why the most powerful man in the world couldn’t get his hands on a surgeon who wouldn’t leave noticeable scars. But then I realized Obama probably used some cheap surgeon…in Kenya!

I had some more questions but, unfortunately, I got distracted by The Daily Mail’s photos of Christine Hendricks in a nightie. Hopefully some legitimate, real, totally serious presidential candidate will pick up this story and talk about it on every news show ever for three weeks straight so that I can learn more.

(h/t Wonkette)