30 Tips to being a better racist on Twitter


Hilarious satire for Twitter “racists”.

Norm Schriever

Racists, it’s your lucky day.  Not just because Nina Davuluri, a woman whose family is of Indian descent, won the Miss America pageant yesterday, leaving your razor-sharp mind to compose xenophobic tweets with wild impunity.  (Sorry, let me link the big words to Dictionary.com so you can look them up: Impunity.  Xenophobic.  Ok, we’re back on track.)  It’s not your lucky day just because of THAT, but because I’ve decided to help you become a better bigot via Twitter.

Frankly, your Twitter racism game is weak, judging by some of the examples I’ve seen.  You can do better, and you’re sloppy, ill-conceived tweets are letting down your pure-blooded brethren, leaving white hoods shaking in disappointment all over social media this morning.

So I promise that by following these constructive tips you’ll be a much better racist on Twitter, making your whole homogenous family proud (including your cousin who is also your sister.)

Here are 30 tips to being a better racist on Twitter:

1.    Tweeting “Go back to (insert country name here)” doesn’t really work when your family came over to this country in recent history, too.  Unless you’re Native American, maybe leave that one alone.

2.    Don’t use cute emoticons when posting racist tweets – it just sends mixed messages, like smiley faces and napalm.

3.    Try to be original when using stereotypes in your tweets.  For instance, India = 7-11, or India = dot head is a little played out.  Maybe try a Slum Dog Millionaire reference?  Or that comedian from Parks and Recreation is pretty funny?

4.    Twitter only allows 140 characters, so just type “#White” instead of “#Merican,” because that’s what you really mean.  Saving those 2 characters will help you get RT’s.

5.    Tweeting that it’s dishonorable to anoint an Indian-American Miss America so close to 9-11 is absolutely correct, but only because if we waited a month the pageant could be held on Columbus Day – a REAL ‘Merican hero!

6.    America is a continent, not a country – in fact it has two continents!  Did you know there is a North America and a South America!?  That’s right, so what you really mean is “The United States.”  But to stick with the ‘Merica theme, we can start calling it: ’Nited States.

7.    A quick history lesson.  It went like this: the land we now know as the ‘Nited States was first home to Native Americans, Vikings, Eskimos, English, French, Spanish, Mexicans, and Pacific Islanders in recent history, and then we came and started squatting.  But let’s ignore all of that and just pretend we sprouted directly from this soil.

8.    If you’re called out for posting racist tweets, don’t ever apologize.  Ever.  And if you do, make sure you’re not sincere and certainly don’t learn anything from it.

9.    We’re having some geographic confusion, so please refer to a world map.  Note that India is not in Egypt, over 2,000 miles from Iraq, and has nothing at all to do with Indiana.

10. Indians are not terrorists.  In fact, they are always on “our” side.  You probably got them confused with those OTHER brown people, who make up about 90% of the world.

11. Al Qaeda is not a country.  And there is no “u” after the “q.”  I know, I know…they’re backwards.

12. White people, please stop laying out in the sun and going to tanning booths.  It’s confusing the hell out of me.

13. I completely agree that Indian dancing has no place in our modern ‘Nited States.  We need more authentic Caucasian dances to class it up a bit, like Miley Cyrus twerking.

14. “They” are not taking our jobs.  You have a crappy job because you didn’t pay attention in school and you’re lazy.  So if you want a better job, go out and earn it the old fashion way: by murdering and exploiting less powerful brown people for material gain.

15. Did you know there are #White people in other countries around the world, like Russia, Canada, and even South Africa?  That will make it extremely confusing when a white Russian American, for example, wins the Miss America pageant, rendering all of our “anti-‘Merican” slander useless.  But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

16. When you call Asian people “PF Changs,” please keep in mind that it’s all white people eating there.  Those lettuce wraps are delicious!

17. The majority religion in India is Hinduism, not Muslim, but either way we don’t want “them” in our country, so let’s all pray for an end to religious freedom.

18. These damn incompetent, un American, immigrant, ethnic politicians are going to be the end of this country!  So please continue the outrage not to reelect Arnold Schwarzenegger.

19. The ‘Nited States does not have an official language, but don’t let that stop you from tweeting that everyone who lives here needs to speak English.

20. A tweet like “A brown-skinned Miss America?!!!  What’s next – people marrying three goats?!” might be a little bit of a leap.  Try to throw a gay marriage reference in there as a stepping stone, so we can better follow your logic.

21. Racists – you’re spending so much time tweeting about the damn Indian Arab terrorists, that you’ve completely forgotten about razzing the Jews, blacks, ‘MoSexuals, handicapped people, Japs, Democrats, draft dodgers, environmentalists, and people who drive hybrid cards.  Spread the hate a little – there’s plenty to go around.

22. Try not to tweet about homosexuals ruining our country and then go home and watch lesbian porn.  It still counts, even though it’s women.

23. When someone accuses you of being a bigot, saying “But some of my best friends are brown-skinned Miss America contestants,” doesn’t really work.

24. Black people and women – it’s especially awesome when you send racist tweets since you’re not that far from being on the receiving end of horrible discrimination, yourselves!  Well done!

25. Please use proper English when composing hateful tweets.  For instance, “Dese people don’t even speaks English #WTF #FML #OMG #GoBackToYourMommasCuntry,” needs to go through the spell check at least once.

26. To add a little zest to your ignorant tweets, sprinkle in these words in any combination:  Osama, Obama, Yo Momma, Al Quadea, Al Jazeera, Al Sharpton, Baghdad, Bag Head, Benghazi, Saddam, Saudi Arabia, and Susan Sarandon.

27. Whenever possible, add “We’re number 1!” to your tweets.  Number 1 at what, you ask?  Don’t worry about it – just put it in there.

28. Remember that we’re the greatest country in the world because we’re a melting pot of inclusion, so let’s keep as many people out as possible before they ruin that.

29. I agree that the term “racist” is totally overused, flung around with such reckless disregard that it’s been rendered meaningless.  The term ‘asshole’ works much better.

30. Maybe you shouldn’t tweet about your patri-racism at all, considering Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal is the majority shareholder in Twitter.  Oops.  We didn’t see that one coming.



Colorado lawmaker mocks poverty hearing with ‘silent protest’ by bringing fried chicken

Colorado state Rep. Lori Saine (KDVR)

In case you’re wondering why I’m posting this…suffice it to say, for all who claim racism is dead, read carefully:

The Raw Story

Colorado state Rep. Lori Saine (R) reportedly brought fried chicken to a hearing on poverty as a protest after a fellow lawmaker was criticized last month for blaming the diet of African-Americans and Hispanics for racial disparities in the poverty rate.

At the legislature’s Economic Opportunity Poverty Reduction Task Force last month, Sen. Vicki Marble (R) had pointed to “barbecue” and “chicken” as part of the problem behind higher poverty rates for minorities.

Rep. Rhonda Fields (D) almost immediately fired back that she was not going to “engage in a dialogue where I’m in the company where you are using the stereotype references about African Americans and chicken and food and all kinds of things.”

“So I will ask that you suspend your perceptions and judgments about African Americans, about poverty — what we’re trying to do is come up with solutions and it’s not about chicken,” Fields said.

After over two weeks and a Labor Day holiday, the controversy had mostly died down — until Saine showed up at Wednesday’s hearing with a box of Popeye’s fried chicken.

KDVR’s Justin Joseph reported that one person in the room heard Saine say that she had brought the chicken in “silent protest” of the way Marble had been treated after her remarks last month.

But when Joseph tried to confront the lawmaker, he received more giggles than explanations.

“I’m having chicken for dinner,” she said. “Would you like a [press conference] at my house?”

Saine also she had “no idea” what the KDVR reporter was talking about when he referred to the controversy regarding Marble linking poverty to chicken.

Following the hearing, Fields told the station that she was not surprised.

“It’s just the same people showing their true character,” she said.

Watch video from KDVR, broadcast Sept. 4, 2013 here and here.

Nugent’s new racist rant: ‘The blacks’ are to blame for their own oppression

Ted Nugent is basically a bigot and a publicity hound.  I get that.

However, there are many outlets that give him a platform to perpetuate his bigotry including Fox News.  Right-wing radio gives him an even wider platform to spew his lies and misinformation about minorities.  I also get that he is pissed off at Barack Obama being elected POTUS.  My reasoning for posting his vitriol is to show that his type of thinking is not unique in our country.  It’s actually wider spread than many realize.

The man has every right to express his feelings but hate speech is hate speech and Nugent,  Limbaugh and their ilk seem to dominate the market on it right now.

Oh, by the way, I have an explicit right to voice my opinion on this issue as well.

See also:  Rush Limbaugh: ‘I Can Now’ Say ‘N—a’ (AUDIO)

The Raw Story

Ex-rocker turned right-wing agitator Ted Nugent called in to Alex Jones’ radio show on Tuesday and unleashed an epic racist tirade, blaming African-Americans for “the black problem” and claiming that all real racism was eliminated from the U.S. in the 1960s.According to Media Matters, the gun and bow-hunting advocate said that African-Americans need to put their “heart and soul into being honest, law-abiding, [and] delivering excellence at every move in your life” and then they’ll be, in his mind, successful.

The “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” auteur has been on something of a tear since the Zimmerman verdict over the weekend, hurling invective at supporters of Trayvon Martin — including the slain teen’s grieving parents, who he chided for raising a “gangsta wannabe, Skittles hoodie boy.”

On Wednesday, Nugent continued to blame African-Americans for their own oppression, insisting that “(t)he worst racism against blacks is documented and undeniable by blacks” and “The blacks have bought into this lie that somehow they’re oppressed when the President is black, the Attorney General is black, governors are black, senators are black, congressmen are black, mayors are black, Oprah Winfrey, the richest people in the world are black. It is a dirty lie.”

Calling civil rights advocates “race baiters” who are part of a “racist industry” that has supposedly convinced African-Americans that they are helpless and “incapable of independence,” Nugent said African-Americans could “solve the black problem tonight” if only they would put their “heart and soul into being honest, law-abiding, [and] delivering excellence at every move in your life.”

“I would like to reach out to black America,” he continued, “and tell them to absolutely reject the lie of Al ‘Not So’ Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, and the Black Panthers and Eric Holder and Barack Obama. They are enslaving you and the real shackles on black America, 100 percent of the time come from black America.”

“(R)acism against blacks was gone by the time I started touring the nation in the late [19]60s,” Nugent said, “Nothing of consequence existed to deter or compromise a black American’s dream if they got an alarm clock, if they set it, if they took good care of themselves, they remained clean and sober, if they spoke clearly, and they demanded excellence of themselves and provided excellence to their employers.”

Racist Hate Group To Conduct Nighttime Patrols On College Campus

Think Progress

White Student Union founder Matthew “Commander” Heimbach

A racist hate group at Towson University has announced plans to conduct its own nighttime police patrols on campus.

Founded last year, the White Student Union has stirred significant controversy already. The organization has been labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. In addition, its founder, Matthew Heimbach (who goes by the title “Commander Heimbach”), and fellow organizer Scott Terry interrupted a minority outreach panel at the Conservative Political Action Conference this month in order to defend slavery, noting that slaveholders provided blacks with food and shelter. Terry later told ThinkProgress that African-Americans “should be allowed to vote in Africa” and he’d be “fine” living in a society where blacks are permanently subservient to whites.

The Towerlight has more on the vigilante plan:

The controversial White Student Union has resurfaced on Towson’s campus with plans to conduct random nighttime patrols, which members say are for students’ protection.

Some members of the group, equipped with flashlights, will conduct on-campus safety walks, and female members will carry pepper spray in an attempt to protect students from various crimes like sexual assaults and robberies, WSU President Matthew Heimbach said. […]

Heimbach said female members have also been enrolling in self-defense classes, and members have been going to local gun ranges as a group, but not in a “military way,” Heimbach said.

He said group members would carry no weapons on the nighttime walks.

One need look no further than the White Student Union’s blog to see why their vigilante operations could turn problematic. In a blog post last month entitled “Black Crime Wave Continues!“, the group writes:

The frequent robberies, sexual assaults, and acts of vandalism at Towson University are not often reported in the local media. For those who are not Towson students it seems hard to fathom that every single day black predators prey upon the majority white Towson University student body. White Southern men have long been called to defend their communities when law enforcement and the State seem unwilling to protect our people.

As a result, the post reads, “The WSU executive board has unanimously approved to make it mandatory for all female WSU members to begin taking some form of unarmed self defense training over the next month.”

Though no Towson faculty would sign on as a sponsor for the WSU, the administration allows the group to use university resources. As the group bragged in September 2012, it is “excited to report that it has taken one step closer toward becoming recognized by Towson University,” pointing to its profile on a university website.


GOP Lawmaker Behind Abortion Ban: ‘We’re Not Going To Allow Minorities To Run Roughshod’

So, they wonder why they’re losing the “minority” vote by double digits, yet still insist on denigrating minorities unabashedly.  Shame on the GOP leadership for continuing to allow their members to constantly put down “minorities” in this way.

Perhaps GOP “wordsmith and strategist Frank Luntz should contact this out of control politician ASAP.

Think Progress

On Wednesday, the Arkansas Senate approved anunconstitutional bill to ban abortion as early as six weeksinto a pregnancy. As The Nation’s Lee Fang noted Friday, this is part of a larger strategy by chief sponsor Sen. Jason Rapert (R) to remake America as a arch-conservative country.

Rapert explained his long-term goals in a racist 2011 rant at a Tea Party rally, as he bashed President Obama for hosting a Ramadan celebration:

RAPERT: I hear you loud and clear, Barack Obama. You don’t represent the country that I grew up with. And your values is [sic] not going to save us. We’re going to take this country back for the Lord. We’re going to try to take this country back for conservatism. And we’re not going to allow minorities to run roughshod over what you people believe in!

Watch the video:

Rapert’s other proposals include amending the U.S. Constitution to give state legislatures control of the federal debt limit and for the absolute elimination of all parole for state prisoners.

Why President Obama Is So Terrifying


Ta-Nehisi Coates is a prolific writer.

I’ve seen him on several shows in the last few days because of an amazing article he wrote for The Atlantic.  Each of the hosts gave Coates kudos for writing such a powerful essay which is entitled: Fear of a Black President.

The Root

When President Barack Obama was asked about Trayvon Martin’s untimely death during a press conference about another topic, the commander in chief replied: “But my main message is to the parents of Trayvon Martin. If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon. I think they are right to expect that all of us as Americans are going to take this with the seriousness it deserves, and that we’re going to get to the bottom of exactly what happened.”

Seems like a perfectly relatable response, but Ta-Nehisi Coates, senior editor at the Atlantic, argues that because those words came from a black president, suddenly the situation became “racialized political fodder.”

Why President Obama Is So Terrifying

But it would be wrong to attribute the burgeoning support for Zimmerman to the blunders of Spike Lee or an NBC producer. Before President Obama spoke, the death of Trayvon Martin was generally regarded as a national tragedy. After Obama spoke, Martin became material for an Internet vendor flogging paper gun-range targets that mimicked his hoodie and his bag of Skittles. (The vendor sold out within a week.) Before the president spoke, George Zimmerman was arguably the most reviled man in America. After the president spoke, Zimmerman became the patron saint of those who believe that an apt history of racism begins with Tawana Brawley and ends with the Duke lacrosse team.

The irony of Barack Obama is this: he has become the most successful black politician in American history by avoiding the radioactive racial issues of yesteryear, by being “clean” (as Joe Biden once labeled him) — and yet his indelible blackness irradiates everything he touches. This irony is rooted in the greater ironies of the country he leads. For most of American history, our political system was premised on two conflicting facts — one, an oft-stated love of democracy; the other, an undemocratic white supremacy inscribed at every level of government. In warring against that paradox, African Americans have historically been restricted to the realm of protest and agitation. But when President Barack Obama pledged to “get to the bottom of exactly what happened,” he was not protesting or agitating. He was not appealing to federal power — he was employing it. The power was black — and, in certain quarters, was received as such.

No amount of rhetorical moderation could change this. It did not matter that the president addressed himself to “every parent in America.” His insistence that “everybody [pull] together” was irrelevant. It meant nothing that he declined to cast aspersions on the investigating authorities, or to speculate on events. Even the fact that Obama expressed his own connection to Martin in the quietest way imaginable — “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon” — would not mollify his opposition. It is, after all, one thing to hear “I am Trayvon Martin” from the usual placard-waving rabble-rousers. Hearing it from the commander of the greatest military machine in human history is another.

Read Ta-Nehisi Coates’ entire piece at The Atlantic.

Conservative Writer Declares White Supremacy ‘One Of The Best Arrangements In History’

I guess Mr. Derbyshire  is waiting for the South to rise again, as well…

Addicting Info

Former National Review writer John Derbyshire has been a disgrace to his profession and his country for over a decade. He wrote for the conservative publication for 12 years until he was fired for publishing a piece in Taki’s Magazine. The article served as a guide for parents on how to train children to be racists. For some reason, the National Review felt the need to fire Derbyshire for this piece, even though he has written racist articles over the course of his career. But his firing hasn’t stopped Derbyshire from publishing racist articles.

In an article written for a white nationalist site known as VDARE.com, Derbyshire declared that white supremacy is “one of the greatest arrangements” in all of history, and connected white nationalism to conservatism.

“The enemies of conservatism are eager to supply their own nomenclature. “White Supremacist” seems to be their current favorite. It is meant maliciously, of course, to bring up images of fire-hoses, attack dogs, pick handles, and segregated lunch counters—to imply that conservatives, especially non-mainstream conservatives, are cruel people with dark thoughts. Leaving aside the intended malice, I actually think “White Supremacist” is not bad semantically. White supremacy, in the sense of a society in which key decisions are made by white Europeans, is one of the better arrangements History has come up with. There have of course been some blots on the record, but I don’t see how it can be denied that net-net, white Europeans have made a better job of running fair and stable societies than has any other group.”

And conservatives have the gall to whine when they’re called racists. Derbyshire of course, is white-washing history. He claims white supremacy has led to more “fair and stable societies” but conveniently ignores the atrocities committed by the white race throughout history. The Nazis were white, and they slaughtered millions and nearly destroyed civilization. It took a worldwide effort of people of all races to defeat them. And let’s not forget that whites are responsible for nearly wiping out Native Americans and enslaving Africans, not to mention wiping out South American Indian civilizations. When one really studies history, one finds that when it comes to white Europeans, they’ve never missed an opportunity to take advantage of or destroy people of color.

John Derbyshire represents what is wrong with conservatism today and why Americans need to reject it and leave it as nothing more than a terrible footnote in world history. America has a chance to move toward a future free of hate and prejudice, and if we don’t reach out and take that chance now, the bigots and racists of the Republican Party will continue their quest to transform America into a nation where only white people matter.

Editor’s note: Emphasis are mine

Racist Anti-Obama Sticker Makes Rounds On Facebook

Renig Bumper Sticker

This is sick.  I am so embarrassed that our country has come to this…and this, in the  21st century!

The Huffington Post

A photograph of a bumper sticker that features racist, anti-Obama language has gone viral on Facebook and other social networks.

The sticker reads “Don’t Re-Nig In 2012,” in large white type, above smaller text that reads: “Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect Obama!”

The offensive design appears to have originated at a site called Stumpy’s Stickers, where it can be purchased. The site sells variations on the same idea, including another “Don’t Re-Nig” design featuring a caricature of a black man’s face with a missing tooth, a picture of a chimp that reads “Obama 2012,” and another with a drawing of several Ku Klux Klan members that reads “The Original Boys In The Hood.”

Sources say Ron Paul signed off on racist newsletters

Did anyone ever doubt that Ron Paul was lying when he said he never signed off on those racist newsletters?

The Raw Story

Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul has consistently denied having written — or even read — the inflammatory racist and anti-gay remarks that went out under his name in newsletters he published in the early 1990s. Although numerous associates agree that Paul does not hold racist views, however, it appears that he may have known more about the racist articles than he has been willing to admit.

The Washington Post reported  on Friday that three people with first-hand knowledge of Paul’s operations say “he was deeply involved in the company that produced the newsletters, Ron Paul & Associates, and closely monitored its operations, signing off on articles and speaking to staff members virtually every day.”

“It was his newsletter, and it was under his name, so he always got to see the final product. … He would proof it,’’ former company secretary Renae Hathway told the Post.

According to these sources, the main author of the racist passages was Lew Rockwell, who was then the vice president of Paul’s company.

The Post also details how closely entangled Paul’s political career, his business ventures, and members of his own family were during those years. According to one source, who chose to remain anonymous, Paul and his associates made a deliberate choice in the late 1980s to increase sales of the newsletter by making it more provocative.

“It was playing on a growing racial tension, economic tension, fear of government,’’ the source stated “I’m not saying Ron believed this stuff. It was good copy. Ron Paul is a shrewd businessman.’’

Cato Institute President Ed Crane, who frequently lunched with Paul during this period, similarly told the paper that when the two of them discussed how to increase the circulation of Paul’s newsletters, they agreed that “people who have extreme views” were most likely to respond. Paul told Crane his best response had come when he used a mailing list from the racist and anti-Semitic newspaper, Spotlight.

If that was the strategy, it apparently worked. According to the Post, political disclosure forms show that between 1984 and 1995, Paul went from being up to $765,000 in debt to having a net worth of up to $3.3 million.

A Paul spokesperson contacted by the Post for comment expressed doubt about the assertions made by Crane and the other sources.

Condoleezza Rice Says America Will Never Be Race Blind

The premise is no surprise, but the statement coming from Republican, Condoleezza Rice is…

The Root

Citing a black president, two black secretaries of state and progress for African Americans beyond what her grandparents ever thought would be possible, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on a Thanksgiving edition of Face the Nation that America may have come a long way in confronting racial inequality, but it will never be “race blind,” and that race and poverty in America are “still a terrible witch’s brew.” That’s not exactly breaking news, but are you surprised to hear the hard truth from her?

From CBS News:

Still, she argued that even though America has “gotten to a place [where] race is not the limiting factor that it once was,” she said that “we’re never going to erase race as a factor in American life.”

“It is a birth defect with which this country was born out of slavery; we’re never really going to be race blind,” she said.

She pointed to the confluence of race and poverty as a particularly troubling constraint for overcoming inequality, and wondered if that problem isn’t becoming even more exacerbated in recent years.

See video here…

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