Day: April 30, 2012

Obama’s Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy (Political Humor)

Andy Borowitz is a master at satirical humor…

Andy Borowitz

 In the first term in office, President Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the previous eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

New polls indicate that millions of Americans are put off by the President’s unorthodox verbal tic, which has Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opens his mouth.

Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements, as well as his insistence on the correct pronunciation of the word “nuclear,” has harmed his reelection hopes among millions of voters who find his unusual speaking style unfamiliar and bizarre.

According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, after eight years of George W. Bush many Americans find it “alienating” to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.

“Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement,” says Mr. Logsdon.  “If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist.”

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, on Election Day the public may find itself saying, “Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate – we get it, stop showing off.”

Elsewhere, consumers who believed that Nutella was nutritious have won a $3.05 million lawsuit, the highest award ever paid to morons.

AT PRIVATE FUNDRAISER, MITT ROMNEY TELLS DONORS THAT DEMOCRATS HATE GOLF COURSES

First of all, Mr. Romney is wrong about Democrats hating golf courses.

Make up your mind Republicans.  You incessantly claim that President Obama plays too much golf yet make that ridiculous statement.

In my opinion that statement sounds very divisive, partisan and “elitist”.

It  would be nice if Mr. Romney would talk about his own policy ideas if elected President of The United States.   Why is he trying to keep it a secret?

Think Progress

Mitt Romney attended a fundraiser at the luxurious estate of Papa John’s founder John Schnatter recently, where he told the audience that Democrats don’t believe anyone should own a golf course or a pool.

“What a home this is, what grounds these are, the pool, the golf course,” he said. “You know, if a Democrat were here he’d look around and say no one should live like this.

Republicans come here and say EVERYONE should live like this. This is a real tribute to America, to entrepreneurship.”

Watch it:

To attend the fundraiser, contributors gave anywhere from $1,000 per person to get into the general reception to $25,000 to be listed as a co-host for the event.

Top Republican Strategist Denies Women Are Paid Less Than Men

I have to wonder if this is willful ignorance or being just plain stupid!

Think Progress

This morning, during a heated discussion with Rachel Maddow on Meet The Press, GOP consultant Alex Castellanos denied that women make 77 cents for a man’s dollar in the workplace and noted, “there are lots of reasons for that.” Maddow expressed shock at the assertion, but concluded that it explained why Republicans and Mitt Romney are so hesitant to embrace the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009, a law that helps women hold accountable employers who discriminate in the pay practices based on gender.

“Now we know, at least from both of your perspectives,” Maddow said, pointing to Castellanos and Romney surrogate Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA), “women are not fairing worse than men in the economy that women aren’t getting paid less for equal work.” “It’s about policy and whether or not you want to fix some of the structural discrimination that women really do face that Republicans don’t believe is happening,” she added. Castellanos responded to Maddow’s policy argument by remarking on her passion, to which the MSNBC host took offense:

CASTELLANOS: It is about policy and I love how passionate you are. I wish you were as right about what you’re saying as you are passionate about it. I really do.

MADDOW: That’s really condescending. This is a stylistic issue. My passion on this issue is actually me making a factual argument on it.

Watch it:

In an interview with ABC News’ Diane Sawyer earlier this month, Romney refused to say whether he would sign the Lilly Ledbetter Act, but claimed that he would not change it. Romney’s women surrogates — including McMorris Rodgers — all voted against the legislation. Castellanos himself consulted Romney during the 2008 presidential election.

John Boehner Calls Unsuccessful Americans ‘Losers’ (VIDEO)

So who’s “dividing America” now?

Addicting Info

Mitt Romney is a very wealthy man. For some reason, Americans are supposed to believe that he earned every penny by working hard and long like every normal people do. Of course we all know that Mitt Romney lived off stock investments while in college and after that, he made millions purchasing and gutting companies across the country. Mitt Romney made a lot of his money by closing down companies and firing people. Republicans think Mitt Romney is a success story because of that. Even House Speaker John Boehner believes that Romney’s wealth and success entitles him to a victory in November, because according to him, Americans won’t vote for someone who isn’t wealthy.

During an appearance on CNN with Candy Crowley, Boehner was asked if Americans will reject Romney because of his wealth and the way he has bragged about it throughout his run for the Presidency. Boehner replied that Americans won’t hold Romney’s wealth against him and will elect him because those who aren’t wealthy successes are ‘losers.’

⁠Candy Crowley: “You know, he comes from a privileged background. You did not come from a privileged background. This is a time — an economic time when people are hurting and have been hurting for quite some time. ⁠Do you think that someone who is as wealthy as he is, who has had as much privilege as he is, has a hill to climb to overcome that?”

John Boehner: “No. The American people don’t want to vote for a loser. They don’t want to vote for someone that hasn’t been successful. I think Mitt Romney has an opportunity to show the American people that they, too, can succeed.”

Here’s the video via ThinkProgress:

Continue reading here…